Dear lady at the doctors’ office today,
Please note that when you make an appointment with your OB/GYN that she has that pesky “OB” in her title, in addition to the “GYN.” Those two little letters mean that, on occasion, the doctor will have to toddle on down the hall to the hospital and catch a small human being as his/her mother screams him/her out. It’s nothing personal, really. It’s not a secret conspiracy to screw up your day, the doctor isn’t in cahoots with the people you’re paying to watch your kid(s), it just happens. When you make an appointment with your OB/GYN, just accept that you will likely be waiting longer than expected because of a small, inconsiderate, wailing child being hoo-hoo-hooed out of someone’s hoo-hah down the hall. Then, if there is no miracle of birth on the day of your appointment, woohoo! You’ve lucked out! Buy a lottery ticket on your way home! Stop for an iced coffee, skip to your car. But it’s not necessary to be a cutting bitch to the office staff. They’re used to hormonal, irritated women, your rant really can’t stand up to a woman two weeks past her due date in late July, so don’t bother trying. Be nice, these women are in cahoots with your doctor, and your doctor is about to go poking around in certain sensitive parts, so don’t piss them all off.
Love and kisses,