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Nov 06 2009

Dear Friday, it’s Fragments!

Friday Fragments?

Dear So and So...

Ah, nuttin like a little Dear Friday Fragments to clear the mind, air out the rooms, prepare for the weekend.

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Dear Cub Scout Den Leader,

Your communication skills are, how do you say? Craptastic. They resemble my sucky vacuum that doesn’t. On your very first list of Important Dates, there was a Pack meeting last night. Apparently I didn’t get the memo of the change and my scout and hubby hauled ass to get to an empty school. Perhaps you could work on this? I’d bring it up in person, but I just can’t take on the den right now, nor have any desire to do so. Just get your poop in a group and do your job. OH! And perhaps recognizing the scouts at Pack meetings instead of just handing them their awards at the curb would be nice too.

Searching for an appropriate calendar,

A Scout’s Mom

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Dear Body,

You and me, we gotta work on our communication. I do not appreciate this 20% over my driver’s license weight. You do not appreciate yesterday’s yoga class. Suck it up, Buttercup, mama’s sick of feeling fat.

Apparently muffin tops aren’t just for breakfast anymore,

Porky

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Dear Wee Widdle Brudder,

I know you’re not so little anymore. You turned 33 this week, you’re married, you’re in the military, and you top me by a good four inches. But I’m gonna whallop you if I don’t hear from you soon. Did you get the first box I sent umpteen weeks ago? Will you let me know when you get the one I sent this week? Did you get the video email the boys sent for your birthday? Could I please have gift ideas for your stunning wife? Could you please answer the several emails I’ve sent? I can’t call you, for I don’t have your number in Germany. Hard to reach me, since you use a calling card and it comes up on the Caller ID as “unknown” and I don’t answer those. I know you’re on the computer all day doing whatever the hell it is you do, but dude, answer your damned emails. I know you read here, maybe you’ll get the hint.

Working on smoke signals to be seen in Germany from Colorado,

Your Big Sis

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Dear extended family on Tom’s side that we’re visiting for Thanksgiving,

This will come across as crabby and spoiled and I’m really rather tired of caring. We’re driving 14 hours across three states for Thanksgiving, to see all of you. Perhaps you could all alter your schedules for a change? We were planning on driving back on Friday so we could have a day or two to unwind and get the boys’ minds back into school mode after a week of grandparent debauchery. Now we are driving back on Saturday, so that the Thanksgiving meal can be had on Friday, when everyone can be there. I know schedules are difficult to change; try getting my kids back in school mode after a week of being off and I bet we win. I’m tired of us being the ones to do the traveling and no acknowledgment of that. I’m tired of no one feeling we’re worth visiting. I’m tired of explaining to my sons that their cousins can’t come out and visit them for a change. I’m tired of being the Big City Relatives; I’ve had to play that role my whole life and I’m over it. And I’m truly tired of biting my tongue as comments are made and sidelong glances are thrown about our lives and challenging kids. You guys don’t know 1% of what we handle out here and we purposely don’t say anything anymore because I’m tired of trying to convince you that I know what I’m doing and just because you don’t believe it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. I’m sure if you lurk here this will come out over the mashed potatoes, and I don’t care. By that time I hope to have a glass or two of wine in me and will really not give a shit.

Looking up tongue studs for the hole that will be created by my teeth in a few weeks,

The Woman Who Stole Him and Moved Him Across the Country

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Dear Universe,

You know A has difficulty with change. Hell, this entire blog is a record of his difficulties with change. So was it really necessary for his very best friend in the whole wide world amen to move to New Mexico in a few weeks? You had to do that to him? Like the poor kid hasn’t had enough trauma in the last ten days learning to swallow pills, his best friend has to move, too? Cut the little guy some slack, please?

From one loving and exhausted Mama Bear

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Have a great weekend! After Ma Nature’s snit last week that resulted in 18 inches of snow, it’s 70 degrees and sunny today. Gotta love Colorado!

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6 comments

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  1. kate

    I would just like to give a message to The Woman That Stole Him And Moved Across The Country:

    Amen and give them hell!

    Curiously my MIL gets it, it’s the in-law siblings that think we should drive across the state (4+ hours not even close to your three states!) ON Christmas just so we can have Christmas dinner as a family the way they always have forever and ever amen. Doesn’t that sound like fun? Hey kids! Take a long good look at your Christmas presents! You won’t be seeing them for a few days!

    I decided once we moved here that I was unwilling to do that to my kids or myself. Plus Santa can only find them at our own house.

    🙂

  2. Miss E

    LMAO! Have you done these for long? That is some funny stuff!

  3. Alixandra Hice

    Flipping fantastic! I adore your Dear So and So’s. You’re a funny chica. Me likey.

  4. Theresa

    Where to start? 😉

    As for the extended family thing, I got so sick of his family that we rarely see them. Guess what? I don’t think they even care. Maybe next Thanksgiving you have other plans. Just a thought.

  5. mub

    I was sad the last time I went home because I missed out on seeing a bunch of my cousins since they couldn’t make time to drive an hour to visit. Not that I flew over the freaking ocean to see them or anything! ARGH!

    I’m pretty close to Germany, I could hop the border and tell your brother to get in touch ASAP if you’d like 😉

  6. Mrs4444

    I feel so bad for your boy, losing his friend 🙁 I hope the universe sends him a new one.

    I think our Scoutmaster is a dweeb and that his son is a future serial killer. That said, his is a volunteer position, and I am too lazy to fight him for it, so I just smile and keep quiet.

    Traveling for the holidays is hard. We eventually just said, “We love you, but it’s time to start our own family traditions,” and we’ve stayed home ever since. Our kids love the traditions we’ve created, and it’s worth the resulting family drama (not too much, really, but it’s there.)

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