May 08 2008

Hey Jen, what’s up with…???

Today Never a Dull Moment brings you Hey Jen, what’s up with…???, the newest and coolest collection of mental crap in the blogosphere. Ya heard it here first, folks.

Hey Jen, what’s up with the workers landscaping the new school? Beats the hell outta me. I’ve never seen such slow workers. They show up at 5:30 (beep beep beep clang clang clang), putz around for awhile, have a coffee break mid-morning, a little more putzing, a long lunch break complete with a nap in the shade, a wee bit more working, foot races from the truck to the basketball hoop and back, maybe a little more work, another break, oh hell how ’bout another couple minutes of work, leave. Lather, rinse, repeat. I’d love this kind of job.

Hey Jen, what’s up with that funky bumpy thing on your arm? The funky bumpy thing had a hot date with the even-complexioned dermatologist on Monday. It is now a funky cratery thing and word came down from on high this morning that it was merely a funky bumpy thing and nothing more. Yay.

Hey Jen, what’s up with the moving slowly and whimpering? Yeah, thanks for noticing. In an attempt to show the body who’s boss I met with a personal trainer on Tuesday to learn how to use the fitness equipment at the New!And!Improved! rec center. Body gave me notice this morning upon waking. I took charge and showed Body I’m not easily intimidated and dragged her sorry ass to a Pilates class this morning. Body is now planning revenge. Between you and me and the ether, I think I may have broken my spleen or something. Don’t tell Body; she tends to smirk and gloat and shit.

Hey Jen, what’s up with your stomach? Oh, Body is telling stomach to behave, so stomach isn’t a problem right now. However, I anticipate a rebellion soon. Things are going to get worse before they get better, but at least I’m formulating a plan to cure stomach and show Body who’s boss.

Hey Jen, what’s up with your white trash patio? It’s still a white trash patio. Husband and contractor are engaged in a record-setting game of Phone Tag. ‘Tis my hope we get a patio by, oh, July 4th. Fireworksapalooza must have a new patio. (From our house we can see fireworks up and down the front range).

Hey Jen, what’s up with J not up in his room having quiet time like he’s supposed to? Hmm…thanks for pointing that out. Allow me to go duct tape him to his wall…

Hey Jen, what’s up with the Economic Stimulus Check? Oh, do you have one? Because we don’t. I believe it’s a myth, sorta like the Loch Ness Monster and the Yeti. Or along the lines of “Social Security will exist when I hit retirement age.”

Hey Jen, what’s up with your writing? Oh, you mean, I wrote a lovely post about the library and was given an awesome award for it and now my posts tend to be whiny, if anything at all? Yeah, I noticed. I think my brain/humor/writing are in cahoots with Body. Things shall improve.

Hey Jen, how’s it going with the time management? Is this a snide remark? That I should be getting stuff ready for the yard sale I’m having at the end of the month? That I should be working on my business? That I should be vacuuming the white trash patio gravel out of my miserable carpet? That I should be working on one of the two online classes I’m taking? That I should be replying to the emails I have gathering dust in the inbox? That’s there’s laundry to be put away? That there are plants to purchase and plant? That I should be doing any of those things instead of posting the premier Hey Jen, what’s up with…??? post? Yeah, it’s not going so good.

Hey Jen, what’s up with the cutesy monsters on the left there? Oh, ya like ’em? I got tired of the bald blank guy as an avatar, so I told WordPress to give me something better. And they listened. ‘Cause I’m powerful like that. {snort} I like the monsters.

Hey Jen, what’s up with that time management again? Fine. I’ll reboot the laundry, get some more iced tea (sadly, my favorite summertime drink is going to be axed soon), check my email and google reader again, then get A and drag him off to OT. Happy? And are you also in cahoots with Body?


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  1. Karin

    I don’t wanna think about time management…lol! I’m just proud of myself for getting a birthday gift done and Mother’s Day cards finished. Other than that, we shall remain silent. 😉

  2. AMomTwoBoys

    This is too funny. What’s not so funny is the axeing of the Iced Tea. What’s up with that? If the answer is caffeine..can’t you just do decaf?

    A Fellow Iced Tea-aholic

  3. jennie

    I love whiny posts, who needs literacy and it just plain funny. and I LOVE the even complexion dermatologist, way to sell the trade.

  4. Poetikat

    Hey Jen, what’s up with you getting 44% on a robot quiz!!!?
    (I only 25% – no sci-fi nerd over here)

    Hey Jen, what’s up with you not taking the “cuss-o-meter” test? I only got 1.5%. na na na na na! So there. (I only swear on other people’s blogs. Ha ha)


  5. RC

    Hey Jen, what’s up with the recent stress in your life? Have things started to improve?

  6. Jamie

    Hey Jen, thanks for making me laugh, even before I’ve had my coffee – which is no small feat.

  7. Beth

    I KNEW someone would eventually follow my duct-tapping kids to a wall advice sometime!!

    Heh heh!!

  8. cursingmama

    Hey Jen, whats up with – I dunno – mothers day? What are you doing for mothers day?

  9. Denise @ EatPlayLove

    Hey Jen, what’s up? I love it, very fun. Have a fab weekend, with a sparkly clean car, right?

  10. Tootsie Farklepants

    Hey Jen, this is brilliant! And ugh I hate the way the body rebells when starting up an exercise program. Especially when your leg and butt muscles are so sore you have to free fall onto the toilet. Good times.

  11. Lisa

    Happy Mother’s Day, Jen!!!! I hope you had a wonderful day with the boys.

  12. Michelle

    Hey Jen…that was fun to read…at your expense of course. ha ha

    Just got back from Vail…ooooh…I’m so relaxed…until tomorrow of course!

  13. magneto bold too

    Hey Jen, I love the monsters! Wonder if I could get something similar with chocolate and coffee…

    and hey Jen, why is it that as soon as I read about your stomach I NOW HAVE A STOMACHACHE!

  14. HRH

    Hey Jen, LOVE the premiere episode of What’s up with. Obviously there is a connection between the school landscapers, my landscapers, your patio and that pesky time management thing…can we blame the cute monsters?

  15. Kat

    Hi, I just wandered into your blog while browsing and it’s really entertaining! I love this question and answer segment…you should do more of them!

  1. Hey Jen, what’s up with…??? volume two « Never A Dull Moment

    […] on July 16, 2008 by jen Time for another exciting Hey Jen, what’s up with…??? The last one broke internet ground (big cracks in the foundation, and it’s not covered under the warranty, […]

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