Mar 19 2013

I am a delicate flower. Yo.

Once upon a not-so-very long time ago, I could sleep anywhere. That only sounds illicit, but I didn’t say with anyone, but anywhere. Long plane rides were never a problem (the one exception being the Ireland flight of 1998, followed immediately by the infamous Dublin Death March, which resulted in a personal record of 30 hours wide awake), sleepovers were fine, and on a college camping trip I once spent a blessed night of slumber in the bed of a pickup truck with nary a twinge.

My, how times have changed. I might still feel 20, but my body is hell-bent on reminding me that there are only a few short months before I’m officially double that.

Purely by accident my beloved husband stole my pillow last night. He was incoherently exhausted and I didn’t notice until too late as I was deep into a book for far too long into the night. He said I should have woken him, but it would have taken the Blue Angels screaming through the room to accomplish that, and their appearances have been cut due to the sequester, so that option was out. I did have to draw the line at snoring loud breathing. By God I wasn’t going to go comfy pillowless with sound effects.

He snoozed blissfully. I embarked on a comfy pillowless might complete with insomnia, bizarro dreams that faded away when the alarm rang leaving only unsettled nerves, and a chronically stiff neck and jaw pissed off at the world. Needless to say I was attached to the coffeepot most of the day, and from this evening forward I am instituting a new evening ritual called “pillow check.” It’ll be a 10-step process that looks something like this:

  1. My pillow.
  2. Your pillow.
  3. Repeat.
  4. Double check.
  5. Repeat.
  6. Repeat.
  7. Turn it over to the cool side.
  8. Repeat.
  9. Elbow away the snoring loud breathing.
  10. Repeat.

In fact, sleep sounds delightful. I believe I shall indulge in some now.


  1. Tedra

    I am the same way about my pillow. I’ve even taken to traveling with it, even though it’s a king-sized pillow. I put an orange pillowcase on it to ensure I don’t leave it behind in a hotel…

  2. Kimberly

    The title of your post reminded me of this quote from the animated film Gnomeo and Juliet, but you really have to have seen it to get the full effect. It’s a great movie for kids and adults… despite/ due to the fact that one gnome is clad in a thong 😉

    Michael Caine as Lord Redbrick: Now back to where you belong.

    Juliet: I can’t just stay tucked away on this pedestal all my life.

    Lord Redbrick: Don’t you see, when will you realize you’re delicate?!

    Juliet: I’m not delicate!

    (kicks a rose which lands in the Nanette’s mouth)

    Ashley Jensen as Nanette (taking rose out of mouth): She’s definitely not delicate.

  3. Rachel

    Reading this at 3am – tells you what you need to know about my own world of chaos and two 2es

    Thanks for making the wee small hours a little more comforting

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