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Oct 14 2010

I appear to have taken leave of my senses

From time to time I get cocky. I look around and think, “Oh, things seem to be going well. I can add <insert interesting but time-consuming activity here>.” And then, because Murphy and his little Law live in my basement, everything hits critical mass at the same time and I lose my freaking mind. Knowing this about myself does not make it any easier. I may enjoy it all in the long run but drive myself and my family up a wall in the heat of the moment. This usually hits right after a prolonged period of intense busyness, such as the last three weeks.

I am currently in a “look around and think” lull. This is dangerous.

In the last 24 hours I have inquired about a very part time TAG teacher position at a local bilingual, low-income elementary school and have signed up for NaNoWriMo in November. This is on top of planning to do NaBloPoMo again, also in November. Oh, and I’m still on the Board of Directors for my charter school and recently agreed to be the membership co-chair of a local GT organization. I may also be assisting another GT organization get up and running this winter. I volunteer at the boys’ school and also want to beef up this here little piece of the interwebz. Because I’m sick to death of the crap that fornicates and multiplies when I’m otherwise occupied, I’m going through the house room by room, cabinet by cabinet, and clearing stuff out. My basis for deciding is if I wouldn’t be willing to move this crap across country, why is it still here? (And before you ask, no, no plans to move at this time).

All this is on top of the regularly scheduled insanity here at the House of Chaos.

I have no clone, no sister wives, no family nearby. Tom will be traveling a great deal in November and part of December. And January. And February. And March. And holy crap, what was I thinking?

Why do I do this to myself? Truly, I can’t help it. I may not have ADHD, but I sure do have “Ooh! That looks interesting! How can I do that?” It’s a chronic and debilitating condition, with no cure.

I’ve never been a TAG teacher, and have no experience in that area other than raising GT kids myself. But I know it’s something I can do, and because the requirements are ridiculously low (seriously, just two years of college?) and I have a valid teaching license, I know I’ll be considered for the position. I’ve never written a novel; in fact, other than my ramblings here, I haven’t written anything in nearly 30 years. I used to write a lot before I took up the flute at age nine. Kinda hoping the muse will find me even though I haven’t left a forwarding address. Blogging daily is something I’ve done before and with enough planning is easy enough to do. Volunteering for non-profits just takes time and brain power.

Still.

I appear to have taken leave of my senses. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I do this right as the holidays come over the horizon, cackling an evil laugh and reaching out to play wishbone with my limbs? Why am I excited about all this? I know I need brainless down time, and with everything I’m interested in and want to do, I forget to add that into the mix. And, oh yeah, I have sons and a husband who might also want to have a bit of my time. More than a bit, in fact. Impressive chunks of my time. And attention. And holy heck, I haven’t been to the gym in nearly a month. I feel it, too. But still, I’m excited and invigorated by the possibilities I have in front of me.

Just keep me in coffee and red wine for the next six months and all will be well.

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  1. Benoit

    Hmm, I haven’t found what kind of arthropode a crap is. Maybe typical of the houses of chaos…

    As you said, Jen, you need a balance to weight things (and craps). Just define what is necessary and throw the rest to the bin.

    What do you live for, achievement or happiness ?
    What is your goal for life ? Are you focused ?

    Have a nice day.

  2. Monica

    Just an idea that I read somewhere in my obsession about giftedness….the brain needs stimulation as much as the body. So perhaps all this finding challenges is what your brain needs to be happy. 🙂 All the best!

    1. Jen

      Oh, I completely agree! And I’m positive that’s what it is for me. Unfortunately, I also need down time, and that doesn’t clamor as loudly as the I WANNA KNOW does. LOL!

  3. Marilyn

    I read your post about the new book “Emotional Intensity” and was so amused by the review – especially the bit where you unequivocally define the nature of unicorn poop – that I decided to read more of your posts… this one in fact. I’m so glad you mentioned your “Ooh! That looks interesting” affliction. I think I might have that too. I had been thinking I might be ADHD inattentive (not formally tested – just my own diagnosis) but I think I like your label better. I can relate to “over-booking” myself but needing the down time… but ignoring down time in favor or brain stimulation until I’m maxed out & whacked out. I also focus on work and my children’s education and creating magic for my friends and family at the expense of everyday chores until I’m surrounded by chaos and am forced to deal with the cabinet exploding with crud…. which I could take no longer & final cleaned today… but left the pile of unfolded clothes for some other occasion. Thanks for sharing honestly your way of being. It helps to know that I’m not the only one with “Ooh! That looks interesting” 🙂

    1. Jen

      LOL! I do think, in addition to OOH!, that I have adult-onset child-induced ADD. I swear I can’t focus on anything for longer than ten minutes, when I used to be able to focus on practicing flute for hours on end. My attention is always scanning the periphery looking for trouble 😉
      And glad you liked the glitter-pooping unicorn. I keep asking for one, keep getting disappointed. LOL

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