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Sep 21 2015

If you can’t say something nice…

If you can't say something nice...If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. That’s what we all learned growing up, isn’t it? Kind of a keep the peace sort of thing. This is why I tend to keep my mouth shut an awful lot.

If you can’t blog something of quality, don’t blog anything at all. This is the online writing version of that old saying, and where I’ve been for the last several weeks. It’s a large rock, and I’d say it’s like living under one, but it’s more like being dragged underwater to your moist demise. Yes, moist, because that word tends to drive people batshit crazy, and there I go saying something not so nice. Heh.

I’ve started several blog posts the last few weeks, passed on writing for today’s GHF Blog Hop (but you shouldn’t, because it’s on parenting G2e kids on a shoestring), and have been journaling daily for my own sanity. I’ve been struggling with writers block so intense it’s more akin to writers Chicago-rush-hour-ain’t-no-one-gettin’-nowhere. There was no funny, there was nothing of quality, it was all middle-aged angst of what am I going to do with my life and I’m bored with myself and long stretches of fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkkkkkk. It has not been good, is what I’m saying.

Something finally shifted this morning, I don’t know what. It may be the essential oil I’ve been diffusing all day, it may be that I got great sleep this weekend, it may be that my body finally exhaled and accepted that summer is gone and the golden loveliness of early autumn is here. Who the hell knows. I just know that I’ve been questioning everything and have been miserable. Did I want to stay with my blog? Start a new one? Give up the gifted writing? Give up writing? Find a full-time job? Be patient and grow my flute studio? Slam my head repeatedly in the dying refrigerator? Run away and join the circus? But I did none of the above and just sat with the uncertainty and here I am today, writing, no clown makeup, no headache from the fridge. I think the changing of the seasons and/or hormones and/or the start of a school year and/or generalized depression and anxiety just grabbed me and decided to beat me about the head and neck with a rusty shovel.

It’s been nearly ten years of blogging here, and I do wonder if I have any stories left to share. I can’t tell my sons’ stories as easily anymore, because I value their privacy more and more every day. I don’t really care anymore if something I say is nice, but I do care if it’s of quality. Whining isn’t quality, so I’m limiting that to my journal. I feel I’ve said nearly all I can say about giftedness. So my stories are changing.

It’ll be interesting to see what they say.

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  1. Corin Goodwin

    I wonder if your stories will change as your kids get older. Having gifted or 2e teens – and having one kid in academia and the professional world – sure does give you a new perspective. If you think you are done with your stories, you might be jinxing yourself. Just sayin’ 🙂

    And of course there is always retrospect. You look back and think “OMG why did I do that? Why didn’t I see that?” or better yet “Remember when i was worried about such-and-such? Well, here we are months or years later and look how cool this worked out.”

    Anyway, no matter what you write, I am confident that you’ll always do it well. <3
    Corin Goodwin recently posted…Parenting Gifted/2E Kids on a ShoestringMy Profile

    1. Jen

      It’s a fine balance lately, of my stories vs theirs. I know my stories will change as they get older, because they will be mostly mine. I just think I’m not as interesting or amusing as they are. 😉

      1. Corin Goodwin

        Dude. Yours are totally interesting and amusing when you share them. What you have more than most people is the ability to make something interesting or amusing even when others might not see it. And it’s far better to laugh than to cry!
        Corin Goodwin recently posted…Parenting Gifted/2E Kids on a ShoestringMy Profile

        1. Jen

          ‘Tis true! My story today? Random aches and pains to remind me that I’m getting older while listening to the yahoos across the street re-siding a house, accompanied by my kid in math class. I’ve gotten boring. 😉 I need to work on that; I want to be a crazy old lady and you can’t be that if you’re a boring middle aged blerg. 😉

          1. Corin Goodwin

            You will NEVER be boring! 🙂
            Corin Goodwin recently posted…Parenting Gifted/2E Kids on a ShoestringMy Profile

  2. J Mark

    I say blog on politics! Lots to get you started right now, and by the time the election is over writer’s block will be gone. (For starters, consider channeling Molly Ivans if the ideology fits; if not, will suggest others to channel.)

    1. Jen

      When I was in elementary school, the gifted pullout program began in 4th grade. Because my testing scores were through the roof (especially in the language arts area), I was one of the dozen or so in the group both years. One year (4th, I think) we studied advertising. I learned bait and switch, etc. Advertising hasn’t had much influence on me since. In 5th grade we studied law. We did case studies, studied prominent court cases, went and visited the courthouse to watch cases being presented. The big project was a full-on court case in our class. Because there were only a dozen of us, some had to play duel parts. I was one of those doublers. And because I was trying to keep two characters and their stories straight, I got GRILLED by the kids playing attorneys. Now, most of them DID go on to be attorneys, but when you’re 10 it’s pretty intense. Pretty much decided there and then that law and politics and the like was probably not a good career choice for me.
      This is a long-winded way of saying I don’t know nearly enough about law or politics to attempt writing about it, and I don’t have nearly thick enough skin to suffer the fallout. LOL! Molly Ivins was an amazing writer, but I think I may be better off channeling Erma Bombeck. 😉

      1. J Mark

        Ivans, Ivins, I see your talent in the language arts area. 🙂 Your reasons for not channeling her are duly noted.

        1. Jen

          Ha! 🙂 Yeah, don’t think I have it in me to write on politics, though I have quite a few opinions of it all. 😉

  3. Jen

    I just found you page and love it! Please don’t stop writing. I love your truth and humor. It’s refreshing no matter the topic!

    1. Jen

      Thank you! I’m hoping I’m just in a funk/rut and will snap out of it shortly. 🙂

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