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Nov 03 2013

It’s fallen and it won’t get up

It's fallen and it won't get up

Did you remember to set your clocks back this morning? If you did, I’m sure you enjoyed your extra hour of sleep. If not, I’m sure you stunned people being an hour early to church/brunch/tai chi in the park. If you’re blearily cursing the whole situation, you have young children who were up at the crack of extra-crazy and you’re looking for the duct tape and cartoons so you can return to bed and/or mainline coffee in the pantry. Death Wish Coffee exists for these situations; I really should try some.

As is my right as a citizen (with older children), I fully planned to participate in this morning’s nation-wide (except for Arizona, Hawaii, and parts of Indiana, which don’t play the fun game of screwing with the citizenry’s internal clocks), no foolin’, Congressionally-approved hour of sloth and laziness. An extra sixty minutes of sleep! Oh, to wake with a smile instead of a snarl! To feel rested, awakening to hopeful rays of sunlight and and bluebirds chirping sweetly as they tidy my home! I love you bluebirds, please remember the recyclables!

I forgot about the dog.

The dog, bless her little white socks, ate my bluebirds of happiness and peed on my sixty minutes of sleep. Congress issues no refunds on their hour of sloth and laziness, which doesn’t bother my sweet Rosie very much, as she participates in sloth and laziness 24/7. I, however, wept a tiny tear as I dragged myself from the warmth and relative comfort of the Second Worst Mattress I’ve Ever Known to let her pee on the frosty grass and leave a little steaming surprise for the boys when they go out to rake later. She’s back in her crate and snoring as I write this; I’m trying to pound coffee and burning off the top layer of my tongue for my trouble. Tastebuds, schmastebuds…

For the last couple of years I’ve reflected back on the end of daylight savings, remembering the year I could feel the dread rising as the sun went down at 4:30. (I want to go back to that day in 2010 and just hug that poor woman; she has no idea how much harder things are about to become). Winter is a long slog for me, more so in Chicago where it lasts for eight months and the sun only graces us with its appearance half that. This summer was unusually cool, so I feel like we just had Winter Lite instead, and pray my solar batteries have enough juice in them to get me to June.

But today we (Le Gasp! Le Shock!) have a full day of sun on tap, with pleasant temperatures and maple leaves on the lawn several inches deep. A perfect autumn day.

Just pass the coffee and duct tape.

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