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Nov 13 2009

It’s Friday! It’s Friday! It’s Fragments! And Dear So and So!

Friday Fragments?

Dear So and So...

Fridays just wouldn’t be the same without Fragments and Dear So and So…

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Dear Sudden Downpour:

Wow, can you stop for maybe five minutes so my kids can get home dry? That’d be swell.

Nice and dry in her basement office,

Jen

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Dear lady woman female creature at Hobby Lobby:

Really? Please tell me that was your shoe. I’ll comp you one ripper ’cause sometimes they just fly out, but the second one? Surely you can feel them coming! Or at least attempt to silence them! Good Lord. Oh, and because I’ve been there a thousand times with potty training toddlers, the bathroom is in the back, behind framing. You might want to go check your pants. Just sayin’…

Learn to cough to cover ’em up,

Me

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Dear Whackadoo “Balloon Boy” Parents:

You were in court today. You plead guilty to being the Stupidest Parents Alive various charges. I expect this will be the last we hear of you.

You’re makin’ me look good,

Jen

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Dear sweet sons of mine:

Suck it up. It’s not hailing, it’s heavy and unexpected rain/snow/sleety stuff. You have heavy jackets with hoods. You can see inside our house from inside the school. There is no way in hell I’m coming over to get you, and having the secretary call was a bad move on your parts.

I buy you warm clothing for a reason,

Mom

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Dear 3rd grade teachers:

I was not spying on recess this afternoon, I was looking for my son because I love to watch him at recess. He cracks me up, running like a little madman and being silly. That I didn’t see him, causing me to believe he was kept in yet again, irks me, but I wasn’t spying. Even though you saw me and waved and I waved back.

Gonna watch Rear Window tonight,

A’s mom

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Dear dizziness and vague headachyness:
Go.Away. I’m sick of you.
Weary of the ibuprofin,
Jen
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Dear library:
Watch out. Here we come. Be prepared for another 50 books per person to walk out your door shortly.
Why do anything else when there’s a book in the house,
Jen
Have a great weekend!

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11 comments

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  1. CorrieHowe

    The library is like that for us too. I have a hard time keep up. We have a great library system…fantastic considering we live at the end of the world. I’ve been in large metropolitans with less sophistication.

  2. Eve

    Yup – gotta love the library (although I’m not a big fan of mine – wish they’d keep a few books in house instead of giving them all away to other libraries)!

    Hehe… to the lady in the store. Well, at least she wasn’t trailing you and making it appear as though they were yours (or was she?)! 😉

  3. Nancy Campbell

    Love the “you’re making me look good” in regards to the Balloon Excuses for Parents. I suppose there’s that! At least I didn’t pretend to launch either one of my sons in a misguided attempt at media attention. Yay, me?

  4. Braja

    Hey Jen, nice to meet you 🙂

  5. Jamie

    This one makes me laugh. Great post.

  6. Mama Zen

    The letter to your boys is priceless!

  7. Alixandra Hice

    Ummmm, eeeew… what’s that smell???

    Anyone who has the cajones to call out the farting Hobby Shop clerk, is okay in my book. Awesome.

  8. Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)

    Thanks for the giggles – and I hope your headaches go away!

    Happy FF! 🙂

  9. mub

    I love the style of your fragments! That balloon boy thing was nuts, at least he plead guilty and didn’t drag things out forever.

  10. Carolee

    We come home from the library with a ton of books as well.

    Too bad I never have time to read them all!

  11. Mrs4444

    Jen, these are terrific! Your writing is a delight 🙂 Sorry it took me so long to get to them!

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