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Nov 07 2012

Mom’s 10 Commandments of Mornings

  1. Stained Parchment BackgroundThou shalt not speak to thy mother, nor make any requests of her, until no fewer than two cups of coffee have been consumed by her bleary-eyed self.
  2. Thou shalt rise from thy slumber with a cheerful countenance.
  3. Thou shalt not incite violence from thy brother by rising loudly as he attempts to rise at all.
  4. Thou shalt eat of thy breakfast with great speed and little complaint, whether your morning sustenance be toast with jelly and cinnamon sugar, or just a banana thrown on the table.
  5. Thou shalt brush thy teeth with toothpaste, wipe thy face clean of jelly and brushing foam, and rinse the sink of thy dental particles and paste blobs.
  6. Thou shalt move throughout the house with a gentle step, as it is likely thy mother has not yet consumed a full cup of coffee and thus has not made the transformation from angry roused bear to loving maternal figure.
  7. Thou shalt gather thy supplies for the day with great alacrity, whether they be books for the furthering of thy education or shoes for thy feet.
  8. Thou shalt not gaze upon the YouTube, nor check on the emails, nor read of the book while consuming the morning meal, for that will only serve to make you late.
  9. Thou shalt not dawdle, for that will halt the slow maternal transformation from angry roused bear to loving maternal figure, and will result in roaring, snapping, and great waving of paws in a sarcastic manner.
  10. Thou shalt kiss thy mother goodbye before running to the bus stop, for thy mother loves thee, and kisses fill her with great joy.

Comments

comments

2 comments

  1. My Kids Mom

    I’m still trying to convince my kids that any squabbling before I’m awake will result in swift and severe punishments and a crabby mom ALL DAY.

    Yeah, I should learn to let go.

  2. Missy | The Literal Mom

    Yep, pretty much.

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