Familiar with the Karma Principal? Probably not, since it’s something I pretty much just made up. It’s also known as “what goes around comes around” and “God’ll get ya every time.” I call it the Karma Principal, sounds more official or some crap like that. I try to live my life by the Karma Principal. For the most part it works really well. But then there comes a time when there’s a glitch in the Karma Principal and things get all borked up.
I wasn’t sick for two years. No joke. I’m about to start week three of this Virus From Hell Attempting to Suck My Will to Live Please Sweet Baby Jesus I Want To Stop Coughing And I’m Sick of the Vague Nausea No I’m Not Pregnant. Never acknowledge that you don’t get sick. Apparently full-on burnout last spring and my attempt to bounce back from that isn’t considered sick in the Karma Principal.
We’ve had an extremely mild winter here. Mild as in, uh, was that winter or an extended fall? This culminated in the Oh How Delicious Sunday Was With The Record-Tying High Of 79 Degrees and My Antibiotic Sunburn That Still Frakking Hurts. We’re under a Winter Storm Warning from 6 am tomorrow til 6am Friday, with an expected foot of snow. Every time I turn on the news, more snow is expected. And this won’t be champagne powder, no no no, not in March. March Snow is heavy, wet, and a PITA to shovel. If A gets a snow day the day before Spring Break I will cry.
The Karma Principal is why I do not discuss a certain Chicago baseball team from the North Side, the one with the record that makes grown men cry. Last season people were talking about them. A lot. Talking about their record. Ooh, mistake. They borked it in three games. People? Shut up when the season officially starts next month. Look up scores in the paper, nod in recognition of the score, and go read Garfield.
So, in recognition of the Karma Principal, I’m ending this post. I really don’t want to get kicked in the teeth in some other areas of life. It’s bad enough to know that somewhere out there there is an orthodontist who is drawing up plans for a boat, knowing this is coming his way: