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Apr 20 2016

Speak your truth!

Speak Your Truth!Speak your truth, they say.

So I will. Because they said so.

 

  1. As the executive function for the entire household, the frontal lobe of the House of Chaos, I am drowning under the mass onslaught of everyday life, dragged under by the tidal wave of four intense lives. There is too much life in my Life. Kindly send a Saint Bernard, complete with brandy around its neck. Or a wine of the month club. I’m not picky. But if you send the Saint Bernard, send someone to clean up after it. I’m done with doing that.
  2. Zucchini is the worst vegetable ever. It and its summer squash bretheren. Don’t tell me it’s glorious browned in butter with parmesan or spiralized as “noodles” or shredded and baked into bread. It is a vile instrument of pain and should be eliminated from the earth, preferably by fire. It shows up far too often in gluten free restaurant meals and is why I often end up just getting a salad or a naked hamburger. The flavor is nauseating, the texture is abominable, and it quite literally makes me ill. No joke, zucchini has the privilege of hitting my system and bloating me up like a dirigible. It’s not even the fun kind of gas, where I could crop dust the boys’ rooms, NO! (Mother of the Year, right here, folks) It’s the evil kind, where minutes after ingestion you are curled over pillows with a heating pad praying for the sweet release of death and cursing a blue streak. The only thing zucchini is good for is a triple word score on Words With Friends.
  3. I’m sure it’s just the end of winter speaking, or maybe the election cycle, but I’m really kind of sick of everyone and everything. I find myself wanting to tell the whole world where to go, how to get there, and what to do with themselves upon arrival. Or telling individuals to eat dog shit and bark at the moon (learned that little line from my dear mum, yes I did). But not you. You’re good. <side eye>
  4. My sons go through enough maple syrup that it would be cheaper to just invest in a maple grove. We got married in a maple grove 20 years ago this summer, maybe that’s why. I’m convinced the reason J loves cheese so much is because I ate pounds of Velveeta queso when I was pregnant with him.
  5. This time of year frustrates me. Not quite warm enough to garden or wear short sleeves, not quite cold enough to put away the winter parkas, it’s a lot of sitting around and waiting for spring to finally arrive and stay.
  6. I hate to shave my legs. They are long, with some considerable real estate there, I’m not the most flexible of 42 year olds, and our shower does not allow a lot of room for maneuvering. Thankfully, this is northern Illinois, where it is cold eight months of the year and frickin’ freezing four of those months; leg hair is insulation. But then it comes time when it’s just warm enough for capris, and you don’t want to scare small children (or encourage small woodland creatures), and so you stare at the Sasquatch that has taken over your lower limbs and you pray you don’t land on your ass under the shower head.
  7. I may not do much right in my life (I don’t exercise, my stress is off the charts most days, I feel like I am failing my adulting final exam, don’t even get me started on how I feel homeschooling is going) but I do one thing so right I feel the need to brag. I wear earplugs every single time I pull out my flute. I know, right?! I’ve worn earplugs since high school; my hearing is stellar. If my hearing were a physical being, it’d be the cover model of Cochlea Monthly. It’s that perfect. Thank you for your adulation. No applause please, just throw money. I also shower every single day and fill the gas tank when it hits 1/4 full; celebrating the little things, here.
  8. I’ve really been struggling with balancing honesty, privacy, and the desire to not scare off any potential employers as I blog lately. But, who am I kidding…potential employers…ha.
  9. Can’t decide if I need a therapist, a life coach, a personal trainer…or all three. Yeah, all of the above. I’m sure you can relate. Please say yes or I will need to refer you to #3.
  10. I’ve been tossing around some great ideas for the future that would allow me to 1) be a self-employed entrepreneur, 2) keep my flute studio, 3) make a difference, and 4) be creative. Once I can harness the addled hamsters that appear to have run off with my attention span I’ll be able to move forward with them. Stay tuned.

There. I’ve spoken my truth…or rather, the truth that I’m willing to share with the whole interwebz. You wouldn’t believe the self-censure involved with writing this post today.

I blame the hamsters…and I always, always blame the zucchini.

Comments

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9 comments

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  1. KG

    I feel your pain. Personally, I always feel better with some exercise and possibly a day or two away alone doing something you love. For me that’s hiking and photography. It gives perspective and I am always happy to come home. Maybe you need a little downtime? Good luck!

    1. Jen

      Oh, I know for a fact I could use some downtime! LOL! And I know that some exercise will make me feel better. It’s the doing…bah. :/

  2. Becky Alexander

    It’s been a tough month or so here too. We’ve had work stress, kid stress, a cat die of old age yesterday, we’re hosting a party for my parent’s 50th anniversary in less than a month (which is wonderful, and I’m happy, but my house and yard are a MESS and we’re gonna have HOW many people here, and by the way, they want to have it the day before MY BIGGEST WORK DEADLINE OF THE YEAR!!!), husband is stressed out because of a big presentation at work this Saturday (when he took the Meyers-Briggs, he scored 100% on the introversion scale, so public speaking is not exactly his thing), one kid is heading to Germany in 2 months (he really should study abroad, it will be great, but dear god we’re putting a 19 year old on a plane alone, to land in a foreign country, with no one to catch him if he falls, and he’s had trouble with depression and anxiety in the past and is he ready for this and are WE ready for this???), another kid wants to move to the east coast (good to move her career along, but we LIKE having her over for dinner every weekend), and the two living here are gifted and intense and teenagers all in one, and having all this at once is making MY intense streak show up, so my head and neck and shoulders and jaws all hurt from the clenching. Our downtime happened the first week of March, and who knows when we’ll get any more.

    1. Becky Alexander

      Oh, and thanks to stress and peri menopause, I’ve had TWO periods so far this month, both extra heavy, and one extra long.

      1. Jen

        Oh yeah, no bueno at ALL.

    2. Jen

      Dear lord. 🙁 That is far too much all at once.

  3. Ingrid McCarthy

    Oh yes. All of the above. Minus the zucchini (but kale? KALE is shite), and the flute-playing. Doesn’t leave a lot….

    But I hear ya! And I get the blogging thing. Which is probably why mine is so quiet. Enjoy your virtual brandy 🙂

    1. Jen

      Hee…I like kale. 🙂 Especially in soup. Mmm….

  4. Kathleen

    <3 and yes.

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