Jan 04 2008

The Love Affair

Iowa (yawn, moan, stretching): Was it good for you too, lover?

Candidates (getting out of bed): Uh, yeah. Great.

Iowa: Where are you going?

Candidates (getting dressed): I…I have to go. I have an early meeting…with New Hampshire.

Iowa: New Hampshire? That hussy?

Candidates: Now, honey, don’t act like that. You’ll always be my first.

Iowa: But…

Candidates: I’ll never forget what you did for me. But it’s time for me to move on. Do you have any coffee? I didn’t get a lot of sleep.

Iowa: But…

Candidates:  I must go. New Hampshire is waiting. I can stop by Starbucks on the way.

Iowa: If you go, where shall I go, what shall I do?

Candidates: Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn (walks out the door).

Iowa sobs, heartbroken, then…sits up, realizing that she gets the whole damned pot of coffee to herself this morning. No annoying commercials. She can meet in large groups without being harassed. Iowa wipes the tears away, gets up, makes a pot of coffee and a breakfast hotdish, and flops in front of the tv to watch how New Hampshire handles her former lover.

Outside the door…

Candidates: New Hampshire, you lovely, lovely state. Your eyes, your lips, your electoral votes. Do you have any coffee?


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  1. karen (Pediascribe)

    HA! The best post-Iowa post I’ve seen today!

  2. RC

    Awesome view on it all!

  3. Robin

    ROFL – I love it!

  4. Heather

    Hee hee hee.

  5. Mama Zen

    That is hysterical!

  6. Sarah

    LOVE it!

  7. Denise

    Brilliant! I love it, can’t wait to see how they wine and dine NH.

  8. Kat

    I wish I had a better understanding of American politics. I can hardly work out my own country’s, however so don’t expect that to happen in a hurry. (And don’t even try to work out Canadian politics. Trust me.)
    As always, I enjoy your posts immensely. (Even when I don’t understand them – which is rarely.)

    Check out Poetikat’s for a new contest for Valentine’s Day. Spread the word!


  9. Michelle

    So clever Jen! So I don’t make it a habit to solicit for people to read my blog…but my recent post is concerning a very sad death in Iraq and a very touching story (I did not write it) that I wanted to share with everyone. Stop by when you get a chance.

  10. Michelle at Scribbit

    HA! Verrry clever!

  11. Michelle at Scribbit

    And HOLY COW I love the new look–I check out for a few weeks at Christmas and everything goes all glamour 🙂

  12. Mom Unplugged

    Too funny! (and so true…)

    Gosh it has been a long time since I have stopped by, I LOVE the remodel! Thanks for your feedback on my snail problem. Someone else suggested I try WordPress too and I really think I will. I am already checking out hosting plans and such. Who are you with? Was it hard to get WordPress on and is it any more time consuming than blogger for posting and maintaining?

    I can’t wait to switch! Now that I have been blogging nearly a year and feel I will continue, I don’t mind investing a little money in it. I am so ready for a change and there are so many little annoyances with Blogger.

    Sorry to be a rambling comment-hog. Happy New Year!

  13. Jen

    Well Iowa, NH is warming up to the candidates, literally. Only 4 calls and one survey. We can see Hillary at 8 tomorrow or Barack at 10 pm….Dang that John Edwards, he’s gone north and to the coast for tomorrow.

    Very Wittey post!

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