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Dec 06 2011

They say

Someday I would love to meet the elusive “They.” They of “they say…” They has opinions and isn’t afraid to use them. They gets around. They has no nationality, a true citizen of the world. Oh, dear They, what would we do without you?

They say all good things come to an end. What about bad things, They? Do those¬†come to an end? ‘Cause that would be bitchin’ awesome.

They say it’s always darkest before dawn. Boy, I hope so, They. ‘Cause it’s mighty dark around these parts lately, and my eyes hurt from straining for the light.

They say good things come to those who wait. Oh, Sweetbabyjesusinamanger, I hope so. Been waitin’ a long time ’round these parts.

They say patience is a virtue. This is an area where I am less than virtuous.

They say you never know until you try. Ok. Let’s try. You lead, They. I’ll do everything you do, but backwards and in heels.

They say practice makes perfect. I disagree. Practice makes better. Perfect is an illusion towards which musicians strive. When I pick up my flute, I also believe in rainbow-farting unicorns.

They say gift-giving holidays will involve an HVAC repair. Wait, just here? Yes, HVAC repair for Christmas. I’m all warm and snuggly from the holiday love…or is that just the furnace working and not clanging like a pissed-off goblin?

They say time heals all wounds. Depends on the wounds. I still have a few mental and emotional scars that ache and will until the end of time.

They say laughter is the best medicine. This is true. I read this and laughed ’til tears ran down my leg.

They say to do what you love and the money will follow. Show.Me. Right this very second I’m doing what I love and there is no paycheck banging on my door. Pity.

Oh, They. You say so much and yet communicate so little. Kindly work on that.

‘Cause you know what they say…

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5 comments

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  1. ChiTown Girl

    I.Heart.You.

  2. Jamie

    I’m not kidding when I tell you that I TOTALLY wish I’d thought of writing a post like this first! But I wouldn’t have done it near the hilarious justice you did…cuz I wouldn’t have thought to say bitchin’ awesome! I loved this post!

  3. My Kids Mom

    and you haven’t even gotten into the Middle School They. Not looking forward to those years.

  4. melissaz

    Yeah, They suck. And They totally don’t know what they are talking about. But you do and you are awesome.

  5. /ei

    LOVE this.

    But I’m showing my own particular geekiness. “Backward in Heels” makes me think of the Tango Maureen.

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