This is talent?

Oh help me. Somehow the channel stayed on when I went up to put the boys to bed and came down to “America’s Got Talent.” Please help, I can’t look away. This is a car wreck. The eight-year old stand-up comic, the snapping fingers guy, the guy with the horns…America has some funky talents. The male vocal quartet was pretty good. Huh, here’s a juggler. I have movies from Netflix, why am I still watching this? This juggler is going to give himself a concussion…whew, buzzed off. No, wait, going to juggle swords…on a roller board…can’t believe he didn’t Ginzu himself.

What is talent? Is it a skill that is developed to its highest level? Is it an inborn part of a person? A combination of both? “Gifted” and “Talented” are often linked together. Are they related? Or just lumped together because we don’t know where else to put them? I’ve known gifted musicians and I’ve known talented musicians. There is a definite difference. Going out on a limb here, but I’d call myself (ok, maybe not now, but at one point) a talented musician, certainly not gifted. I know of a gifted flutist and dang, she’s good. I guess I would call talented a little spark that could be encouraged into something bigger, and gifted a huge bonfire that has no choice but to be something bigger.

Oh my hell, the world’s oldest male stripper. My eyes! My eyes! The horror! Elderly men should NOT be covered in glitter! Kinda frightening that David (how can we miss you if you don’t go away?) Hasselhoff thought he was pretty good. Must not contemplate how much glitter he uses…

Talent is in the eye of the beholder. What I consider talent wouldn’t be considered talent by someone else. Like raising 9 kids and staying sane. That’s a talent. Sometimes even…

A singing saw? You gotta be kidding. Uh, don’t insult the guy with a sharp-edged tool.

Anyway, sometimes even I consider

The hits keep coming fast and furious. A ventriloquist with two puppets. My brain hurts.

Anyway, sometimes even I consider something

Ok, he’s actually not bad. The puppets are ridiculous, but the Godzilla-like thingy was good.

One more time. Anyway, sometimes even I consider something not a talent and then change my mind. Anyone who can belch the alphabet has a talent, however minor; I learned that after attempting it.

Hot Damn! A harpist! Oooh, I changed my mind. Ugh.

How can talent be developed? Can it be developed throughout life? I think so. It takes practice and dedication. Did you know “amateur” means essentially, “for the love of it”? I was once a professional and now am an amateur. For the love of it.

These people here are definitely doing it for the love of it. You really gotta love doing something to get up in front of the whole world and do this. Pretty bizarre stuff.

Wait, this show is two hours long? I’m positive we don’t have that much talent and frankly, I’m not sure I want to see what fills the next hour. I already want the last 45 minutes of my life back.

Oh.My.God. A nose flute. Shoot me. Shoot him. Oh, thank you for buzzing him quickly.

I’d say my talent(s) are still in progress. I know I’m a talented flutist, or rather, used to be. I suspect I have talents I haven’t discovered yet. I suspect everyone has talents they haven’t discovered yet. It’s just a matter of being in the right place at the right time.

Can’t believe I’m still here. Another juggler. whimper…

WTF is with the dancing, milk-squirting cow? We’ve really sunk low.

I give up. My brain cells are history, I’m watching a movie.