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Feb 25 2008

This is what I listen to all day

Right Brain: Jen, Jee-eeen!!! Let’s go play! Your scrapbook room is calling out for some lovin’! I’m ready to go! Look, I’m even wearing my pretty, brightly flowered dress today! Look how pretty it is when I spin around! Wheeeeee!!!!!

Left Brain: Jennifer, you do not have time for such frivolity. Look at that to-do list. Yes, there are only eight items on it, but one of those items has a sub to-do list of another 20. You only have another hour and a half until you have to go pick J up from preschool, do not waste it. In fact, you should not even be writing this little piece of fluff. Get it in gear, woman, you have too much to do today.

RB: Oh, put a sock in it you ole’ meanie! Jen-Jen, put on some rockin’ music and let’s go playyyyyyyy! We haven’t played in such a long time! In fact, let’s play with the boys this afternoon! We haven’t done anything super-duper fun in a loooong time!

LB: Work first, then play, not the other way around, you crunchy flower-child freak! When the work is done, whenever that may be, then it is time to play. Not before.

RB: You poo-poo head, there’s always work to be done, it never ends! All work and no play makes momma a cranky bitch! You know that!

LB: I know no such thing. Back to work! {whip cracks}

RB: {moons LB} Nah-nah nah-nah nahhhhh nahhhhhhh….you can’t catch me! Thpppppppppppppp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The boys are going to grow up thinking that work is forever, and that play is never, and we’d better get along before that vein in Jenni’s head starts throbbing again! That’s scary shit, man! Look at my dress! Wheeeeee!!!!!! Hey, look, a puppy!

LB: {sighs} Stupid git.

RB: Hey, there’s a yoga class tonight, and there’s childcare for the older kids too! We can take the boys! Jenni-wenni can do yoga, the boys can play, everyone wins! Here puppy, puppy!

LB: No. That would keep them out past bedtime, and A has homework to do, and that to-do list is not doing itself right now! Every time we try something like this it blows up and there are meltdowns and tears and feelings of complete parental failure. Not worth it. Just have to miss working out again today. Too much to do!

RB: You’re no fun.

LB: You are an irresponsible child.

RB: Fartface!

LB: Brat!

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This is the crap I listen to all day. Any wonder my memory is failing?

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edit: RB has kicked LB in the butt, and LB has retaliated by sticking a dirty sock in her mouth and locking her in a closet. Updates to come…

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  1. Karin

    You gotta listen to RB more often – life is too short to not have some fun now and then! 🙂 Tell LB to go sit in a corner for awhile. 😉

  2. karen (Pediascribe)

    Oh My Gosh! That is hysterical!!

    So, you’ll have to let us know….
    who won?

  3. Ruthie

    I wouldn’t be worrying my memory, I’d be worrying about those voices you are hearing. LOL JK

    Hi! I’m Ruthie, just popping over from La La Girl!

  4. Tootsie Farklepants

    I was laughing so hard that I was STILL laughing when I answered my ringing phone. I couldn’t explain.

  5. Heather

    But if LB was really winning, that sock wouldn’t be dirty. It would be laundered and put away in the sock drawer where it belongs.

  1. Good, better, best « Never A Dull Moment

    […] partner than a wife lately. Not doing much for my mood. That little post earlier in the week about Left Brain sticking Right Brain in the closet…yeah…somehow I’ve become a Human Doing, rather than a Human Being, and I […]

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