I’m on this rhubarb kick lately, no idea why. Oh, wait, I know why. Roger the Wonder Shrub (aka the Rhubarb Plant Hell-Bent on World Domination) has had three days of rain and now will have a warm and sunny weekend. He will now begin Growth Spurt (cue ominous music). Worse than a two year old with a brand-new wardrobe, Roger the Wonder Shrub will grow and grow this weekend, mocking last weekend’s jelly-making fest. So much for trying to keep ahead of the harvest. Sigh… So, today, with much humor, I bring you: Thirteen Things you can do with rhubarb (please take with a grain of salt…or a cup of sugar)
1. Re-enact scenes from The Pirates of the Caribbean, using the stalks as swords.
2. Build a Barbie Dream House (log cabin style). The leaves can be used as the roof of the backyard cabana.
3. Play hide and seek in the rhubarb patch.
4. Scare off burglars by threatening to stash rhubarb in the bag ‘o loot.
5. Sew the leaves together to make a sun shade for the back porch. Warning: the leaves are extremely toxic. Do not eat them, do not bring them into the house, do not taunt them.
6. Pull apart the fibrous strands and weave a new doormat.
7. Diet aid: take a big ole’ honkin’ bite of uncooked rhubarb. I guarantee your appetite will be greatly diminished.
8. Hold neighbors hostage (for chocolate chip cookies) with the threat of rhubarb jelly, crisps, and breads.
9. Make rhubarb ice, and use it for snowball fights.
10. Play floor hockey: rhubarb stalks as hockey sticks, the accompanying strawberries as the puck. Alternate puck: old rhubarb scones.
12. Attach a short stalk of rhubarb to a bicycle wheel for a charming clicking sound as you ride.
13. And please share your favorite rhubarb stories, recipes!!!, and uses for the happy little stalk. Or it’s gonna be a realll long summer around here. ; )
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