I’m going with…nobody.
My computer has been fracking around since I bought it last November and I have been the IT department for the household for too long.
My health insurance covers 100% of nothing that involves A’s ADHD or SPD, and only covers the ADHD meds because we hit the ungodly high deductible earlier in the year.
My PDA crashed on me this morning for absolutely no reason; I was able to get it back up and running, but good grief, why did it poop out on me?
For reasons known only to higher powers, I totally spaced giving A his ADHD meds this morning. Remembered just as I was pulling into his school…25 minutes away.
And it was that last one that broke the camel’s back this morning. I.Forgot.A’s.Meds. I don’t know why. And it occurred to me: no one, no one, got my back. I can’t trust that the food I bring into my house is safe. I can’t trust that the toys I bring into my house are safe. I can’t trust that the Cub Scout badges my son proudly earns are safe. So I have to check and double check the rest of the world’s work. And then my brain gives out and I forget to give my son his meds. He’ll make it through the day (oh, God, please help him get through the day), but I’m worried about him. You’re probably wondering why I don’t just hop in the van and take his meds up to him. Well, I’d love to do just that. BUT. J has speech therapy this morning and I don’t have time to make the nearly hour round-trip. AND. If I don’t give A his meds at a certain time of day (around 6:45 AM) he doesn’t eat lunch. Or dinner. Or sleep. It’s a delicate dance. And this morning I tripped on my dress hem, stumbled, and fell on my butt.
I’m beyond tired of this. I’m pissed off. I’m pissed off that I don’t have time to take care of my family because I’m so busy making sure the rest of the fracking world is doing its job. I have to send in reimbursements for therapies and hope that insurance covers it. I have to take my son to OT because we don’t yet have an IEP in place for him, and let’s face it, the school isn’t going to be able to provide all the services he needs. I need to be a technology expert and figure out WTF is going on with my computer, and modem, and PDA because Microsoft, Earthlink, and Palm can’t work the damned bugs out and keep them out. I need to investigate which foods are safe, consult my mental list of what the boys will eat this week, cross check that with allergies and the fact I’m trying to lose weight, and hope to hell I don’t blow a year’s salary on groceries.
This isn’t a case of “watch my kids for a couple of hours so I can get caught up.” I know I have people who would watch my sons in an emergency, or if I needed a break before I cracked. This is an ongoing societal problem, and I guarantee I’m not the only person feeling like this. What happened to doing your job, and doing it right, for the good of society? Has everything become “the bottom line?” Well, world, here is my bottom line: Get off your half-moons and do what’s right. Because my brain can’t take much more.