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Nov 20 2009

You Say Fragments, I say So-And-So! Goooo Friday!!!

Friday Fragments?

Dear So and So...

 

Rah rah rah…sis boom bah!

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Dear nice PC Guru who has brought Princess the PMSing Laptop back from the dead several times:

I will sign a DNR if it means I get her back before I leave at o’dark thirty Monday morning. Please do not order parts. Please do not knock yourself out trying to figure out what is wrong. She is not recognizing my external hard drive and I just need that resolved. My EHD holds my entire iTunes library, and because it’s an EHD, Carbonite doesn’t back it up. I do realize that her extended warrantee ended last week and I’m on borrowed time, but please, no extended measures. I just need that POS back before I head to Iowa for a week.

Fantasizing over a MacBook Pro,

Jen

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Dear Facebook/real life friends who have found me here:

Hi! Welcome! Poke around awhile! Please leave comments, they’re like crack. Just be prepared that if you read here and I don’t know it and you mention to my face something you read, I will get a definite “deer in headlights” look as I desperately try to remember what the hell I wrote and dear God did I embarrass myself?

Feverishly wracking my brain,

Jen

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Dear Thanksgiving Week Off:

Please be gentle. Thank you.

Jen

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Dear sweet sons of mine:

On Monday we have a 14 hour drive through some of the most mind-numbing landscape outside of Wyoming. I will build you a Boy Cave  in the back of the MomVan. Please enter the Boy Cave and request nothing of me. You will have DVDs, Leapsters, books, food, and drink. There is nothing more you need. Bathroom breaks are every few hours and will be mandatory. I encourage naps. Lots of naps. Whining, complaining, and fighting may result in you hitchhiking the rest of the way. You’ve been warned.

P.S. Your computer’s keyboard sucks.

Love,

Mom

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Dear CERN:

You guys are super cool and I love the advanced research you do. That said, I just finished reading “Flashforward,” and have caught on Twitter that the LHC is up and running today. Please don’t blow us up, and if there’s any kind of seeing into the future going on this evening, I expect a happy ending. One where my oldest son is working over there with you.

Go, particles, GO!

Jen

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Dear husband:

I love you. I’m proud of you. You do great work.

Flowers. Just send flowers and I won’t want to wring your neck for needing travel so stinking much lately.

Loving peach roses,

Your schmoopie

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Dear Universe,

You suck for moving A’s very best friend in the whole wide world away this weekend. You’d damn well better make it up to him BUT GOOD or I’m coming after you.

Sharpening her claws,

One Pissed Off Mama Bear

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Dear readers:

Yeah, not as funny this week.

Le sigh,

Jen

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Have a great weekend!

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7 comments

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  1. JenC

    OK, I’ll delurk. I stumbled on your site after checking about Colorado Bento (you had linked it on FB and I just got around to checking it out a week or so ago). Funny stuff, but now I’m scared crapless that my boy will make me as nuts as yours make you!

    Neighbor Jen

  2. ChiTown Girl

    Oh my hell! I do NOT envy that car trip, that’s for damn sure! Good luck, my friend, good luck….

  3. Miss E

    Oh, you have a separate FB life too? I’m still wondering how long this can last – how long have you made it?

    signed,
    Thinking about outing myself during NaBloPoMo – b/c that sounds like fun 🙂

  4. Theresa

    Which is why I try to keep my FB friends who do not blog in the dark about my blog…because, um, I have said things, ya know?

  5. Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)

    I’ll be curious to see how the Boy Cave works out in the MomVan. I’ll also be curious to see if you get some peach roses soon! 😉

    Happy FF late! 🙂

  6. Nancy Campbell

    I thought I was following you. Now I am. My bad.

    Hey, I totally understand that “deer in the headlights” look. When I discuss my pap smears and excess facial hair, I should remember that my pastor, former co-workers, and grandmother read my blog.

    I’m not even anonymous. I guess I’m the proverbial open book.

  7. Mrs4444

    Are you kidding? I loved these! Especially the one about making the boy cave in the back of the van. Way too funny and cute. Happy Thanksgiving!!

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