«

»

Apr 24 2011

It’s the end of the world as we know it

I’m sure we’ve all heard the oft-repeated phrase, “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle.” It’s been said to me more than once…can’t imagine why.

At some point, likely in the very near future, I’m going to snap, prove that God indeed gave me more than I could handle, ipso facto disprove the existence of God which will reverse the Big Bang/Existential Sneeze and instantaneously shrink and birth us back through a reverse black hole into nothingness.

As it will prove extremely difficult to apologize after the fact, I’d like to beg forgiveness today for breaking the universe. And if we have a Words with Friends game going, you win by default.

Half of you are laughing and the other half have fallen on your prayer bones to pray for my everlasting soul before pulling me from your RSS reader.

Yes indeedy I’m having a hard time these days. On the bright side, and I must find one or the universe will end sooner rather than later, is that we are all healthy and (mostly) happy and everything growing warts in my life these days can be filed under “First World Problems” and as long as my liver doesn’t give our (hey! Southern Comfort comes in 100 proof!) I’ll make it through this move with nearly all my sanity intact. No promises on the color of my hair, but that is why colorists exist.

On the not-so-bright side, it’s been seven weeks since Tom moved to Chicago. Seven weeks of being an almost single mom. Seven weeks of keeping the house perfect, the boys in line, 3/4 of the household fed/watered/dressed. I have missed the birth and resultant snuggling of my nephew, Easter dinner with my family (my mom makes a mean ham), and getting the boys into a new school before it’s out for the summer. Tom has missed A’s 10th birthday, the boys advancing in Cub Scouts (as well as next week’s Crossover ceremony for them), J’s run-in with a very heavy library table that resulted in x-rays/left index finger splint/right hand Ace bandaging (he’s fine), Easter here (including being asked repeatedly if I’m the Easter Bunny), the Scout trip to Winter Park, A getting back on ADHD meds (including daily rising at 6:30 to dispense said medication), ongoing homework fights, getting the driveway repaired, my one-day physical and emotional collapse this past Thursday, and A’s sleepover birthday party this weekend from which I am still recovering. The universe quivered just slightly on Friday when I received a notice for Jury Duty this summer, but I managed to hold it together and well, we’re still here. You’re welcome.

I apparently pissed in someone’s Cheerios in a previous life.

When this is all over and behind us Tom and I are going to look back at this whole First World Disaster and wonder just what the hell we were thinking. I’m convinced once I have us all moved in to a new house I’m going to hit a wall and have a breakdown that makes the one in 2008 look like a mild case of the flu. You’ve all been warned.

So, dear friends, let us hope that things turn a corner soon. I’ve already packed all my adhesives and I’m not sure they’d be enough to repair the universe anyway.

Comments

comments

7 comments

Skip to comment form

  1. ChiTown Girl

    Oh, honey, I wish there was something I could say or do to help. All I can offer is support, friendship and cyber-hugs.

    I know one thing for certain – when you guys finally DO get settled here, you’re gonna need a martini, and I know a great little place I’m gonna take you to get one… ;P
    ChiTown Girl recently posted…I double-dog dare you to not laughMy Profile

  2. melissaz

    Hugs from here, too. If I were there, I’d totally be helping out. You will make it through and then you’ll not even remember how hard it was. That is, of course, after a course of shock therapy…
    melissaz recently posted…A question-My Profile

  3. Jamie

    Oh Jen. It’s indeed too much. Waaay to much. I’m sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed by it all – but rightfully so.

    Here’s the thing…you are tough. You will get through. Your liver will need a little TLC…but you are going to be okay.

    Wish I could help.

    But thoughts and good vibes are coming your way.
    Jamie recently posted…RestingMy Profile

  4. Benoit

    You’re not the only one to disprove the existence of God (read Richard Dawkins) and that does not lead to other destruction than your inner beliefs in God…and that could be relieving and giving you a wider (wizer ?) view of the world.

    You’re strong, Jen, and you’re going thru this very Weil.
    You won’t collapse in depression after the End of it.

    🙂

  5. My Kids Mom

    “First World Problems” hmm, good name for them. I dropped out a few weeks ago. I went on an online strike and turned off my email browser for a day. One whopping day. But it helped immensely. I have started to write “NO” on my forehead (it is very faint at this point) but I am realizing that I must take better care of me, emotionally.

    “This too shall pass” like a kidney stone. Painfully, yet when it is over it will be over.

    Meanwhile, you DO make me laugh and you can count me as a loyal follower, here in Atlanta GA.
    My Kids Mom recently posted…promises- promisesMy Profile

  6. Lisa

    I feel for you Jen — hang in there! Hey, at least you still have a wicked and wry sense of humour — that’s gotta count for something. I have a little wall plaque that says “If you’re going through hell, keep going!”

    1. Jen

      Good thought. I just keep thinking of that kitten on a branch with the caption, “Hang in there!” and wondering if the kitten ever fell. LOL!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

CommentLuv badge