where wildly different is perfectly normal
Moooommmy, ya wa’na pay wif me?
Moooommmy, ya wa’na pay wif me?

Moooommmy, ya wa’na pay wif me?

I know, I know, one day I am truly going to miss hearing J request my company. He is my little sweetheart, tells me he loves me all the time completely unprompted. One day he’s gonna be all, Mom please leave, my buds and I are hangin’ here and you’re crampin’ my style and I’ll be all, yeah, well, Mr. Sticky McVelcro, that’s sure a different tune you’re singing than when you were 3 and he’ll be all, MOM! I’m 17! and I’ll have to crawl upstairs and pour a glass of wine. I know it’ll happen.

But ya know what? Mommy doesn’t effin’ want to play. Mommy doesn’t want to play trains in the basement. Mommy doesn’t want to play Hot Wheels. Mommy doesn’t want to blow bubbles outside and by the way kid, it’s like, 30 degrees out there and windy. Mommy doesn’t want to play Candy Land. Mommy doesn’t want to play Shoots and Ladders. Mommy doesn’t want to watch a movie. Mommy doesn’t want to play Mommy Lion and Baby Lion. Mommy doesn’t want to play computer. Mommy doesn’t want to go to the ever-lovin’ park…did you catch the 30 degrees and windy part?

Mommy wants to slug down half a bottle of Midol and crash on the couch with one of the four books she has on photography and PSE 5.0 so she can figure out how in hell to take decent pictures of the whirling dervishes she calls sons. Mommy wants to be able to eat something and know for sure she won’t be curled up in a ball a half hour later, cursing the misery that is her stomach lining (chocolate has been removed now as well. Let’s recap: caffeine, dairy, artificial sweeteners, and chocolate. PMS has been murder this month; if red wine has to be removed you might as well commit me). Mommy wants you to get your cute little butt back in your room for the quiet time you are supposed to be having because you had a raging tantrum at the New!And!Improved! rec center this morning.

J goes to school three mornings a week, it’s not like I have him tied to a post in the yard and he never gets to play. He has playdates, he has school, he has his adored big brother, he has trips to the park/library/indoor playground. Yet I can’t get him off my hip. I look forward to the evenings when the boys are in bed so I can think uninterrupted, but by then I’m too pooped to party. Gah.

And just think…three months til school is out! Oh.Joy.


  1. I have definitely been there lately, more times than not! Have you looked into books on cd or pbs is on the am radio as well- Sj loves them keeps her able to play on her own longer!

    Although today I made play dough, but didn’t have one crucial ingredient (cream of tartar) so it turned into play-frosting-sticky-goop. So much for “googling” substitutions.

    I must check out your new rec ctr facilities, your town is trying to compete with mine–our new and improved ctr is 5 years old this year, I think?

  2. This is the frst time I’ve been to your blog- found you from Lifenut. You know, I have times when I feel exactly the same way. The thing that helps me most is to deliberately make the choice to spend 20 minutes playing something with my kids– definitely not Chutes and Ladders– I despise that game. But Uno’s not bad.

    Or let him wash some dishes in the kitchen sink while standing on a chair. In fact, go with lots of bubbles, and put him in a cute shirt, and you’re all set up for a photo shoot with your new camera. That has possibility for fun for both of you.

    I’ve found if I make the effort to interact with my kids for awhile, then they are less needy. Also, I feel better as a mom, which improves my mood, and is actually oddly restorative to me, even though, yes, the actual play does take effort…..

    OK, I’ll shut up now…didn’t mean to make my first comment on your blog so long, but it is definitely a problem I’ve faced too….

    Mary, mom to 10

  3. *says prayer kids are old & don’t love me anymore*

    I have felt your pain & the only words of wisdom I have to offer involves the application of liquor – if it fails when you apply it to yourself go ahead & give it to J.


    Have you tried putting him in his room/bed with a book on tape/cd or setting a timer requiring him to stay until the book/timer is done? The book worked for us because Gameboy would fall asleep or restart the darn thing.

  4. Oh, girrl! I know exactly what you are going through, but mine is many years removed! I send you many hugs and my sympathy. But, I can’t resist sending you a warning from my side of the fence. Yes, the children DO grow up and don’t need you or want you any more. Many times I remember days like the one your are experiencing, and wish I could have a “do-over.” Take that Midol and get a rest. Listen to some soothing music. Then, attack that motherhood business with a fresh start. And, remember that those pictures you want to take are no substitution for the memories of time spent together. Again, hugs and feel better soon!

  5. My daughter has started waking up every morning and from nap calling, “Dummy, where are you?!” (I’ve turned into Dummy, and Daddy is Muddy.)

    It sounds like you need a date night, except all by yourself. Well, yourself and maybe a massage.

  6. *snort* last time Boo did the ol’ Play With Me Mummy thing, I ended up dead…

    And I am picking my jaw off the ground at the things you can’t eat right now. That is ALL the major food groups. As soon as you hear the ‘w’ or ‘al’ sounds coming out of the doc after the word ‘no’ put your fingers in your ears and say ‘lalalalala I’m not listening!’

Whaddya think?

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