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May 10 2012

A gardening story of biblical proportions

The rains came.

And the woman, who saw her former state burn through drought, rejoiced, for there would be green and lushness and no water restrictions.

And the rains continued to bless the woman and her land.

And again.

And still.

And while the rains continued their gloomy raininess, lo the dandelions blossomed. The yellow and the fluffy, they conspired and arose. And arose. And arose some more, until they reached the overly high knee of the woman.

And the woman said, “Hark! The dandelions must be driven from the land! The yellow and the fluffy alike! For I have no beater to raise upon cement blocks to complement this infestation!”

And the woman drove her chariot to The Lowe’s to procure The Fertilizer and The Dispenser and The Sprayer. And she returned to her land with a plan.

The Mowing of the Land commenced.

And it was good.

The woman rejoiced in the clean-cut landscape.  The dandelions, the yellow and the fluffy, had been driven from her land.

But sickness descended upon her house that very evening.

The dandelions, the yellow and the fluffy, called upon The Four Winds to exact revenge upon the woman and her firstborn son.

The Great Snotting began.

The woman and her firstborn son sneezed and snurked and hacked, cursing the dandelions, both the yellow and the fluffy. They raised their kleenex-filled fists at the sky as they swore to take a bloom for every sneeze.

It was a dark day.

But hark! Hear the man return from The Business Trip! The man not afflicted with The Great Snotting!

And lo, the man ventured forth to Fertilize and Dispense and Spray the dandelions, both the yellow and the fluffy.

And it was good.

 

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  1. Kimi Ymigues

    LOL.

  2. Linda

    🙂

  3. Psychomofomamma

    Lo, the snotting has never been expelled from our humble abode, it continues still to this day, unabated.

  4. ChiTown Girl

    Brilliant!!

  5. BeckyG

    Ha ha!

  6. Crazymofomamma

    Lo, the snotting has never been expelled from our humble abode, it continues still to this day, unabated.
    I have no sense of smell as a result of allergy and sometimes that is a handicap and sometimes it is a superpower.

  7. GinevraCat

    “The Great Snotting” – brilliant

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