Dear Mr. Sandman,
You negligent bastard, where the hell are you? Didn’t you get the memo? There’s a five year old in this house who is trying to recover from a tonsillectomy. Rest, and in particular, sleep, is what he needs to heal. Staying away from our house isn’t helping matters. Do we stink? Snore? Foul nocturnal breath? C’mon, help me out here! His pain meds are a freaking narcotic and he’s still not sleeping. He took them in the hospital a few hours after surgery last week, the nurses expected him to crash hard and long and not only did he not crash hard and long, he barely snoozed. Last night A didn’t relax enough to sleep until almost 8:30 (which, as you know, Mr. Sandman, is an hour and a half past bedtime), and was up at 6:00 this morning. That is not enough for a healthy five year old, much less a five year old recovering from surgery!!!!! So, Mr. Sandy Pants, get your itchy britches over here tonight. Don’t piss off Mama Bear; A needs to sleep.