where wildly different is perfectly normal
At least I’m warm
At least I’m warm

At least I’m warm

at least I'm warmBack when I was in college I had this massive winter coat. No, really, it was enormous. Cherry red, puffy with down, reached my ankles…and my ankles are pretty far from my shoulders. My friends laughed and called it my mattress coat, because you really could spread it out and use it as a sleep surface. Unzipped it was like having wings; one time I was at a craft store with a friend and I turned around, knocking over a display in the process. Good times, good times. I didn’t care about the ribbing, I was warm. Delightfully warm. The music buildings on campus were all over the place, there was no one music building, so I was outside in central Illinois in the dead of winter all the time. I needed something to keep me warm from jaw to toe. This coat fit the bill.

I got rid of it after we’d lived in Colorado for a few years. It never got so cold that I needed a full length down coat, a regular winter parka served me just fine. Then we moved to Chicago, and last winter’s YOU WILL OBEY AND RESPECT ME FOR I AM WINTER AND I AM IN CHARGE BOW TO ME BITCH temperatures clued me into the fact that if I didn’t get something warmer my ass was going to quite literally freeze off. While I could really use a little ass reduction, an entire temperature-induced assectomy isn’t exactly what I had in mind.

So I bought a new coat. Full length, down, toasty warm. Because of new technology in coat construction (or some odd BS like that), it’s not nearly as puffy and mattress-y as the previous one. It’s just…let’s just say the color on the website wasn’t entirely accurate. It looked a little more subdued on the screen than in person. It’s warm and cozy and all, but…well…

Let me introduce…




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