Gentle readers, if you happen to have a 10 year old child who does not suffer from executive function issues, count yourself extremely lucky. Go buy a damned lottery ticket. I envy you in a way that is not healthy, not polite, and is likely breaking at least one commandment. I have finally decided that executive function is the bane of the household, and if this one thing could be resolved, perhaps we’d all breathe easier.
So, Jen, enlighten us. What is executive function? The best description I’ve found is on LDOnline. It’s basically the CEO of the brain. It manages planning, organization, learning from your experiences/mistakes, inhibition of impulses, stopping to choose an appropriate response…basically everything that is missing in my particular 2e son.
One guess how well this goes over with that boy’s mother. When people have to use one word to describe me, it’s usually organized. The Container Store is heaven for me, and get out of my way if you’re between me and my labeler. So just imagine what it’s like around the House of Chaos most days.
Now imagine a house on the market and the mom over-the-edge-insane with keeping an immaculate house for showings.
Now imagine the dad gone for nearly 4 months, working in a different state (hand to GOD I don’t know how I’m doing this).
Now imagine it’s summer freaking vacation, there is no schedule, there is NOTHING planned (because we were supposed to be in IL by now), just imagine what it’s like around here.
Instead of this:
We have this:
A certain son who shall not be named but is easily guessed took our sweet Rosie on a walk. He took her on the playground equipment. He yanked on her leash. And ripped two toenails off her back paw. All because of no internal recognition of cause and effect. All Ready-Fire-Aim. Hell, forget even the “ready.”
THAT is what is has been like around here. The entire situation is best described by my dog wearing the Cone of Shame.
There have been more and more incidents of the brain’s CEO out to lunch, and a three martini lunch at that. How do you train an immature, growing, asynchronous twice-exceptional brain in executive function before the mother of the brain’s owner goes off the deep end? We’re staring down the barrel of puberty here, and JesusRollerbladingChrist I can’t deal with hormones on top of a drunk CEO in the brain.
I own two highly-recommended books on executive function. I’ve owned them for a long time. And, like fully one-third of the rest of my household, they are currently in storage. I’m sure Smart but Scattered would help immensely around here, as well as Late, Lost, and Unprepared.
I’m at a loss. Something has to give. The boy is on the verge of getting out of control…and yet, not. He and his brother have been in detailed imaginative play all afternoon. It’s possible the problem lies mostly with me, but…he interrupts. He’s bossy. He’s often disrespectful. It takes more energy to get him to do chores than to do them myself. He doesn’t think. He…eh, I could go on and on, but what’s the point of that?
If you have executive function success stories, or advice for me (provided you actually live this), I’m all ears.