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Dec 04 2009

Frag ‘n So and So…

(Bet you’re wondering how much longer I can keep coming up with creative ways of combining these two memes, eh? I have no idea.)

Friday Fragments?

Dear So and So...

Dear Ice Queen Mother Nature:

Are you paying my heating bill this month? Knock it off. It’s December in Colorado, not February in the Yukon.

Shivering in front of the space heater,

Ice Toes

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Dear School District:

As per our agreement, I pay taxes and you educate my sons. I’m holding up my end of the deal; why are my kids out of school so often? A week at Thanksgiving? Two and a half weeks over the holidays? A late start every month? Starting school at 9 am? Am I missing something? There is so.much.concern over state testing and how kids are doing. Lightbulb time! Keep them in school longer, say, 8-3. Two weeks is plenty over the winter holidays, two days off at Thanksgiving enough. And, for the love, out before Memorial Day is freaking insane. Keep ’em til mid-June and back the day after Labor Day. Better yet, year-round school. Oh, and if you have to send out a crib sheet to explain the report cards, they might be a little confusing. Just go back to ABCDF for grades and 12345 for deportment. And if you give me hand-wringing and whining about “how will we afford this?” and “but we’ve never done that before!,” then know THAT’S why I’m looking into charter schools. When presented with a challenge or opportunity for the kids, our last charter school went with the mindset of “let’s find a way to make this work” and “what a great idea! Let’s do it!” I miss that. Just FYI if we’re not here next year.

Wanting a better education for my sons,

Teacher Jen

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Dear all my bloggy friends

Please stop writing for a few days. My reader is bursting and my eyes are falling out of their sockets trying to keep up.

Poking ’em back in with a stick,

Blinky

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Dear self:

You are 99% finished with Christmas shopping. Do not pause now, or you will find yourself dashing around at the last minute for that tiny 1%, making yourself and everyone around you miserable. Just get the stuff for the teachers, the dog, and the book for your sister-in-law. Then you may have your one glass of egg nog a year, 1 part nog, 3 parts something stronger than nog.

Get off your duff already,

Self

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Dear Princess the PMSing Laptop:

I am going to replace your hard drive for the last freaking time. You are going to take it and use it and enjoy it and so help me, this is truly it. You have to last until the summer, because the money tree is dormant. That’s a nice word for dead, which is what you will be if you give me any more crap. Suck it up, buttercup.

One finger on the auto-destruct button,

Jen who desperately wants a computer that actually works for the love of all things holy

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Dear sweet Rosie,

I love you. You’re a wonderful dog, perfect for our crazy lives. You’re calm and sweet and live for belly rubs. We adore you. What we do not adore are your paint-peeling, face-melting, Homeland Security Level RED farts. I understand you probably have a nervous tummy and didn’t like us being gone for a week, but DAY-UM! Girl, you gotta learn to hold ’em til you get outside. The silent-but-deadly routine almost killed us there for a few days. I guess I needn’t worry about ever being gassed, for you have built up my immunity. Whew.

Gasping for air,

Mom

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Go check out other participants in Friday Fragments at Half-Past Kissin’ Time and Dear So and So at 3 Bedroom Bungalow To Let In Crazytown.

Comments

comments

9 comments

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  1. Mejis

    I see your computer and mine are related. I so want to throw mine out the window.
    Dog farts can gag a maggot.

  2. Missy

    That’s some funny stuff. I think I need to start doing “dear so and so too.” 🙂

  3. Mama Zen

    The part about the crib sheet for the report card totally cracked me up!

  4. Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)

    Love your Dear So and So’s… Your school district sounds a lot like ours.

    I need to have that little chat to myself about the 1% of Christmas shopping I have yet to do… 😉

    My laptop has been having PMS moments lately, too…driving me crazy! And our money tree has been dormant for way too long…

    Stinky doggie farts are the worst…only overshadowed by hubby stinky farts after he’s consumed lots of hot sauce on his meal. Maybe I should do a search for gas masks on eBay. 😉

    Happy FF a day late! 🙂

  5. livingdeadnurse

    omg first we have sister computers…and my dog rosie can fart and wake u up from a dead sleep..burns ur freaking nose hairs too

  6. Kristin

    I don’t think I’ve been here but once or twice. I didn’t remember Dear So and So. These were very good.

    While you were writing to the school I kept inhaling loudly – a week at Thanksgiving? two and a half weeks at Christmas? When I was in school we did NOT have in service days, winter break, late starts, early release – nothing. We started the day after Labor Day and went until the first week in June. If we had a snow day, we added another day in June. I remember asking my sister if she ever had a full week of school. I have no idea why there are so many days off. I think this is one reason why I chose not to have children. LOL

    I think I could hijack your comment section so I’ll just leave a reply to the one and give you an “I’m so sorry!!!” with the dog fart one LOL

    Kristin – The Goat

  7. Nancy Campbell

    My kids aren’t even in real school yet, and I feel your frustration. I don’t understand how people are able to work with any regularity with all these late starts and early releases and everything else.

    I need to start the 99%, since I’ve done my 1% already. This could be an ugly Christmas Eve if I don’t get on it…

  8. corrie

    I’m with you. I was just wondering how I’m ever going to earn a living as a freelance writer if I’m always reading and commenting on blogs. I took a day off yesterday to work on my business and came back to 218 blog posts. And for a couple of hours I couldn’t get it below 200.

    I’m so taking the easy way out of Christmas this year. I’m even thinking gift cards in the stockings. However, I think the kids will actually love it.

  9. Mrs4444

    Hm. Are you feeding the dog just dogfood? I think that’s funny (because Cooper never does that, thanksfully.)

    State law usually mandates how many days kids are in school. Do you have a spring break, too? A WEEK for Thanksgiving? Is that for hunting families, maybe? Our state mandates 182 days per year. We start Sept. 1 and are out by June 5th or so. Your schedule is interesting!

    I hear you on the reader issue. I just don’t open mine anymore; it’s so stressful!

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