Step all the rest: You have Zombie Flu. Nothing will be accomplished now. May the break commence.
I’ve been knocked on my rapidly spreading behind for the last two days by the worst virus to pay me a bodily visit in recent memory. I’ve been fortunate enough to avoid illness for the last few years (barring a couple of colds…seriously, maybe two colds in the last four years), but Zombie Flu has more than made up for it. Monday night I had a bit of a sore throat and chalked it up to allergies. Middle of the night I realized something was very wrong and whimpered, half sleeping, for several hours until Tom got up and I could beg for ibuprofen. You might call me a pansy for just not getting up and getting the pain reliever of blessed relief, but six hours later I got up to get more and nearly passed out in the bathroom. It could have been a very Elvis moment. This virus is a bully. It steals other virus’s milk money and spends it on whores and blow. Yes, I have been feverish, why do you ask?
It’s been the whole range of flupocalypse. Fever, body aches, sore throat, exhaustion. I didn’t leave my bed all day yesterday, something I’m certain has never happened before. Usually I can at least haul myself down to the couch. But no, I slept nearly all day yesterday and have been barely functional today…but made it to the couch. Win!
But something I’ve noticed while being laid up. My stress level plummeted. Not just because I was sleeping and not looking at an endless to-do list as the minutes ticked by, but because my biggest stressors were under strict orders not to disturb me. I didn’t start the day cajoling them out of bed, then hustling them out the door to camp, listening to whining about lunch offerings, ignoring complaints of boredom, making and following through on threats over behavior, refereeing one sibling conflict after another, arguing over dinner, and exhaustedly fighting them both into bed at the end of it all. No, I slept. And when I awoke in the afternoon I was still too sick to do anything on the to-do list so I just drooled onto the pillow as I scrolled through Twitter. I was forced to take a break from my life and it was glorious. Painful and exhausting, but glorious.
Short of moving out of the house for the next decade, I’m not quite sure what to do with this newfound knowledge. The boys are quite obviously able to manage their own care to some level, for whatever reason aren’t, and I’m tired of juggling it all. We’ve gotten into an unpleasant rut and we’re all miserable; it took Zombie Flu for me to realize just how miserable I was. I don’t want to be the sickest I’ve been in years for my sons to be responsible and me not despise my life.
So tomorrow I will continue to rest on the couch and wash down handfuls of ibuprofen with cold things; razor blades in the throat return if I don’t have it coursing through my system nonstop. And I’ll also ponder this little bit of insight, brought on by the Zombie Flu. Trust me when I say you really don’t want this virus, it’s a bitch of a few days, but see if you can’t somehow get a break from your life to step back and snag some perspective.
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