I really wanted to put “…stupid” at the end of that title. Heh.
Ok! Question time! Raise your
wineglass hand if you have a challenging/complex child or two (and if you have more than one, my hat is off to you). Raise it again if you have ever put off, avoided, or gotten out of something because the mere thought of doing it with the aforementioned offspring was exhausting. And keep it up one more moment if you feel you are missing out on some of the more pleasant and memorable parts of family life because of that.
chug your wine lower your hand now.
It’s the effort, isn’t it?
When the little things (oh, like the cherubs getting dressed in a timely manner without intense debate) take up so much mental and emotional energy, you just don’t wanna do more. Sometimes you just can’t. When you do the household chores the kids should be able to do because the effort to get them to do it is more than reasonable, you don’t want to go do fun stuff. And when you read that this is parenting and it’s not supposed to be easy and oh, everyone has these problems, just do what worked for me!, then you just feel like a failure on top of it all.
Just getting through the day with complex kids is hard enough sometimes. Adding a bunch of stuff on top of it gives me the shakes.
All that said, mad props to my husband, who is at this very minute camping overnight with the boys and a bunch of Cub Scouts. He is…oh, how to say gently?…not the camping type. We made the Herculean effort to get them out there, and I only pray it is a positive experience for all involved. I have two very valid reasons for this. First and foremost, if it goes well and everyone has a good time (and no one ends up in the campfire), then I can hope the boys start to learn that mom and dad are not the only ones who expect them to make an effort on their own (and others’) behalf. And, most selfishly, it means I could have more quiet evenings at home with chick flicks and popcorn and my electric throw blanket.
Oh, will I go on a campout? Well, I haven’t gone camping since I was in high school and we went family camping with my brother’s Boy Scout troop. I had nothing to do but watch the Boy Scouts set up the camp, cook, and plan everything. It was awesome. Now?
Nah. Too much effort.