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May 20 2011

Joy. Rapture.

So apparently The Rapture is this weekend and I am woefully unprepared. I don’t know how one prepares for the End Days, but I know I’m just not ready. Should I catch up on the laundry? Wash the car? Frankly, I think a zombie apocalypse is more likely this weekend, but that’s just me. I also am starting to believe both The Rapture and a zombie apocalypse will happen before I sell this house, but if that happens, I am prepared. I’ll just load up the MomVan with my family and looted supplies and high-tail it to Chicago. The housing market just won’t matter then, and we’ll have our pick of homes to live out the Final Days. With my lead-foot I figure I can out-drive any undead, and the chance of my family ascending bodily to heaven is, well, about the same as the Cubs winning it all this year. Or next. Or anytime this decade.

What gets me about this whole Rapture deal is just how certain these people are. I mean, I’m all in favor of some “what if” imagination, but this has gone a little too far. Do they have a Plan B for Sunday? Are they going to blame radio waves for brainwashing, or gulp KoolAid? As far as I know, there’s no comet out there on which to catch a ride. And the very source by which the Head Nutjob has calculated the date states quite clearly that NO ONE knows when The End Of Days will come. Quite a conundrum there. I’m more inclined to believe the Mayans’ 2012 date; they don’t state it’s the end of the world, just a huge changing of consciousness. Ok, as long as I’m still here to enjoy that huge change in consciousness, I’m game.

It’ll be interesting to see what unfolds this weekend. This “event” won’t pass quietly, and I’m curious to see the aftermath. These people, who have given up everything they own, who have alienated their families, who have spent the last several months preaching The Rapture to the indifferent…what are they going to do now? How on earth are they going to pick up the pieces of their lives and move forward?

Unless…

They’re zombies!

BRRAAAIIIINNNNSSSSSS!!!!!

Comments

comments

3 comments

  1. Accidental Expert

    They must not be parents of kids with special needs. Because if you are, you always have Plan B — even for the Rapture.
    Accidental Expert recently posted…Basic TrainingMy Profile

  2. My Kids Mom

    They have stated, very clearly, that there is no Plan B. I suspect they will simply try to disappear (more concretely) into the woodwork and avoid discussion. BUT- have you read about the entrepreneurs who have pet care businesses (etc) and no refund policies to care for pets after said Rapture? Even more entertaining.

    Ok, now, it is 8pm on a Friday night and I need to get off the computer. Good night!
    My Kids Mom recently posted…nothingMy Profile

  3. Missy| The Literal Mom

    Alrighty. Hi! I’m still here. Are you? And I haven’t watched ANY of the coverage because we’ve been traveling. Did they do a lot of coverage? Are they eating crow today? Or are they gone? 🙂
    Missy| The Literal Mom recently posted…Business 2 Blogger – Why Im Taking the PlungeMy Profile

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