Nothing accompanies procrastination like a rousing game of For The Love Of All Things Holy What The Hell Is That Smell In The Laundry Room, unless it’s the sequel game Should We Replace The Carpet Or Pray ServPro Has A Coupon?, or maybe the roleplaying game I’d Love My House To Not Smell Like Ass.
For the record, there was nothing in the laundry room to create such a stench unless there is a portal to hell I missed and trust me, I vacuumed long enough in there I would have noticed. A portal to hell would certainly explain the smell. It’s the dog. And while ServPro has deodorization services, I’m afraid this may be past their assistance. The carpet down there was iffy when we moved in, the dog made it worse the last several months, and summer heat is going to make this place a gas chamber without a great deal of intervention.
But procrastination. What doth I procrastinate? Name it. Thinking. Doing. Sending emails. Anything with an “ing” ending and action verbs. I haven’t wanted to <action verb> in any way, shape, or form lately. So today I cleaned and organized the laundry room so I could
find that portal to hell and solder it shut do laundry without gagging at the inside of the washer. Yesterday I crashed out on my bed and read a magazine; in my defense, I’d just survived a 2 1/2 hour ALL BOY PARTY OF OVER-SUGARED ACTIVITY (at least it wasn’t last year’s solo hosting of Go The F*ck To Sleep). Perhaps tomorrow I will learn why the inside of the coat closet smells like death. Can’t blame the dog for that one, she doesn’t hang her coat in there.
A little non-computer procrastination is good for the soul. At least my soul. Something in the house is now clean and doesn’t stink
much. Perhaps now I have the mental and intestinal fortitude to forge ahead on some action verbs.
Yes. I shall go <action verb> now.
Okay, can you give me tips on how to have people over when my house smells like death and the portal to hell is open? Because it would be so easy to have people over instead of Going To A Play Date with at least one or two bored lost kids. I’m just a teensy bit OCD about cleaning and organization which is why my life *is* sort of like a living hell. I mean, of course it isn’t. I just realize that I can’t clean all day long so I don’t (oh, and hahahaha they’re all such NON-cleany people) and it’s around me All Day Long.
So, like I figure if I know people it’s okay if the portal to hell is open a little and it smells maybe like a bit of death, but the first time people are over I think It Must Be Perfect and of course it never ever ever is. And we don’t have time to clean it because we’re never home because I have social kids who hate cleaning and 2 years of saying they can have friends over when they clean hasn’t worked. *sigh*
Last year when we had our house on the market, and I was trying to keep the house clean with two boys and a flatulent dog, I bought a LOT of scented candles. Burned every last one of ’em. Right now I don’t have money to burn (heh), so no candles. So I’d say candles. Oh, and when I’m at someone’s house and it smells like the portal to hell is open, I just figure one of my boys farted or didn’t brush his teeth. 😉
Hilarious. You crack me up. Wait til your boy is a teen. There is a different scary funk that their bedrooms take on. Gross.
Would you believe we’re already there? They share a room. The funk some days is ungodly.
LOL…we are gifted at procrastinating in this household as well. Thanks for the laughs again…I just had to comment. And that has meant I have had to sit my butt on the computer seat and type….diverting me away from …