Jul 01 2008

That’s (not) hot

I only recognize how miserably hot it is because our hvac system sucks donkey danglies. Furnace dudes claim our air conditioning unit is actually large for our size house, but you’d never know it sitting in here. Tom’s office (on the SW corner of the house) is easily 25 degrees warmer than the rest of the house year-round. When we finished our basement two years ago, the inspector told me she was excited to see how our contractor did the ceiling because we had “the worst laid-out ductwork” she’d ever seen.

So if you’re looking for an anniversary gift for me (this Sunday…12 years!), bring me the brain-dead idiot who designed this nightmare of a duct system with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is. Hallelujah. Holy shit. Where’s the Tylenol?*


*With love from my favorite holiday movie, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.


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  1. s@bd


    (there’s a nice place up for sale in my neighbourhood …)

  2. RC

    Want to move to WI? We have some great houses in our neighborhood, too…

  3. sheasy

    Oh, nooooooo….. you got a long way to go ’til summer’s over. Stock up on ice.

  4. Mama Zen

    Donkey danglies! That’s the best laugh I’ve had all day!

    We had the same problem and had to get a bigger unit.

    (Unit and donkey danglies in the same comment. My day is looking up!)

  5. Lisa

    Thanks, I needed that!!!

  6. HRH

    LOL. You are funny when hot.

  7. karen (Pediascribe)

    Oh, you should SO totally move to Orlando!!!!

  8. MRMacrum

    I’m really glad it was not me who designed and installed your duct work. But if it is any consolation, it’s been hot here in Maine also. And most of us do not have AC at all. I feel your pain.

  9. Dawn on MDI

    Macrum might be warm where he is, but where I am on the coast, we’ve got a fair breeze that requires two blankets at night.

    Find a good (union) sheet metal shop, have the guy come over and look at the ductwork, draw up a plan and an estimate, and just have it done. What you spend re-doing the ductwork will be saved in fuel and electricity costs inside two years.

    If anybody tries to put flex duct in, throw them out bodily. Same goes for duct made from styrofoam insulation. Get the real deal and insulate that. Good luck!

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