The living room is called the “front room.”
You don’t pronounce the “s” at the end of Illinois. You become irate at people who do.
You measure distance in minutes (especially “from the city”). And you swear everything is pretty much half an hour away.
You have no problem spelling or pronouncing “Des Plaines.”
You go to visit friends or family down south and laugh when they complain about the traffic.
You understand that no person from Chicago can be a Cubs fan and a White Sox fan.
It’s “kitty corner,” not “katty corner.”
You know the difference between The Loop and Downtown.
You eat your pizza in squares, not triangles, and you never refer to it as “pie.”
You own celery salt (bonus points if you know what it’s especially used for).
You understand that the primary is the official local election.
You have drunk green beer on St. Paddy’s Day.
Stores don’t have sacks, they have bags.
You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: “Where’s my coat at?” or “Can I go with?”
You carry jumper cables in your car.
You drink “pop.”
You understand that I-290, I-90, I-94, and I-294 are all different roads.
You know the names of the interstates: Stevenson, Kennedy, Eisenhower (or Ike), Dan Ryan, and the Edens.
But you call the interstates “expressways” (doesn’t everyone?)
You refer to anything south of I-80 as “downstate.”
You refer to Lake Michigan as “The Lake.”
You refer to Chicago as “The City.”
“The Super Bowl” refers to one specific game in January 1986.
You have two favorite teams: Da Bears, and anyone who beats the Packers.
You buy “The Trib,” not the Tribune.
You know that despite being on the lake, there is no such place as the Waterfront.
You think 45 degrees is great weather to wash your car.
You picnic or ride your bike in the “forest preserve.”
You cried when Bozo was canceled on WGN.
You know what goes on a Chicago style hot dog (hint: no ketchup).
You know what Chicago Style Pizza really is.
You know why they call Chicago “The Windy City.”
You understand what “lake-effect” means.
You know the difference between Amtrak and Metra, and know which station they end up at. (see? unnecessary preposition ending the sentence)
You have ridden the “L.”
You can distinguish between the following area codes: 847, 630, 773, 708, 312, 815
You have, at some point in your life, used your furniture or a friend’s body to guard your parking space in winter.
You respond to the question “Where are you from” with a “side.” Example: “West Side,” “South Side,” or “North Side.”
You know what a “gapers block” is.
You know the phone number to Empire Carpet (and dear God, because they’ve now gone national, so do my sons and they sing it! Make.Them.Stop!!!!)
Tomorrow: either a Thursday Thirteen (if I can think of anything) or my tribute to the Chicago Cubs.