Gifted kids be weird, yo.
If you have one, or have spent any time around one, or teach one, you know this. They are the quirkiest, funniest, weirdest creatures around. And if you can step away from the challenging behaviors and parental angst, they’re awesome.
It’s taken me a long time to get to this point, to appreciate the weird in giftedness. Yes, I’ve always tried to laugh at it, or at the very least poke fun at it, but appreciate it? Not an easy thing to do, especially when you’re in the thick of one crisis after another trying to deal with it. How are you supposed to appreciate your kids’ quirks and humor, when you’re simultaneously trying to put out the fires those quirks are fanning? Not a job for the faint of heart, not one any of us applied for, and yet here we are. Might as well make some s’mores over those flames.
Here is just a small sample of the tidbits I’ve laughed at over the years. Names have been withheld to protect the innocent.
Do black holes ever close?
Um. I have degrees in music and advanced degrees in parenting that I earned on the job. Inevitably you asked this before I had coffee or after I had wine. Either way, I have no answer for you because the question itself broke my brain. Let’s go with “maybe, but I reserve the right to change my mind when scientists come forth with further information. In the meantime please go research that yourself.”
Heck, MacGyver can make a stretcher wih a couple paper clips and duct tape!
Yes, yes he can. That still doesn’t mean I’m giving you the zip ties, ball bearings, 4 ft of metal conduit, and rubber chicken you requested. And hell to the no on the liquid nitrogen, stevia plant, and rare earth magnets. What are you doing in the basement?
Guy walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He got hurt.
You’re still working on your jokes. Not bad for a first try, but keep honing your craft. Also, keep your day job.
The future will come. It always does.
When parenting goes meta on you. Thanks child, needed the reminder. Your future is also speeding up on you and 1) you’ll be starving at school tomorrow if you don’t get going on making a lunch or 2) be living in the basement if you don’t acknowledge that college is heading this direction.
The only thing I hate about getting older is the responsibilities.
I let said child live. I also laughed until I fell to the ground and could not breathe. Child was not amused. I cannot wait until I can share this tidbit with this child when he older and has real responsibilities. I saved the name, date, and time of when he popped out this comment, and I may just needle that sucker into a cross-stitch and keep it on hand for proper presentation. I’m thinking college graduation. Been almost three years and I still laugh and laugh and laugh.
Why can’t I take in air through the atmosphere? My head hurts!
Son in question had just had two teeth removed and was still woozy from the laughing gas. This particular child is a freaking laugh riot under anesthesia; we still laugh about the time he was coming to and damned near stuck a popsicle in his eye.
It always comes down to the last level of logic for me.
Aaaand….I have nothing for this. Of course it does, dear son. Because you are wired the way you are, of course it comes down to the last level of logic. You needed to wring every last drop of logic out of all the previous levels. However, I’ve discovered that you always seem to find one last level, so your levels of logic are a lot more like a bottomless pit…or a Highway to Hell for me. You’re exhausting.
Why does my saliva not bounce around in my mouth when I’m bouncing on this ball?
For the same reason a hippopotamus wears a G-string on National Donut Day, kiddo.
What’s wrong with me and my binaries?
What do your binaries have to do with anything? Did I miss a memo? Where are they? Are they inflamed? Do you need to see a doctor or an IT specialist? Are they contagious? I’d hate to be quarantined because of binaries. Do they need watered? My god, what happens if we feed them after midnight?
Flavor doesn’t have copy and paste, MOM!
Dammit I wish I could remember the context here. I want to say it had something to do with chewing gum, but I just don’t know. But you’re right, buddy, flavor doesn’t have copy and paste. If it did, I’d be throwing ⌘-c and ⌘-p around with wild abandon. Bananas that could taste like chocolate peanut butter ice cream instead of hot glue? Cauliflower with the flavor of ripe cherries instead of spicy funk? Zucchini that…never mind, nothing can improve zucchini. Devil’s veggie. A hot pox on that vegetable.
I have a hurt-bump.
I do too, my loves. My head, it is pounding with the effort of understanding half of what you guys say and know. You are far smarter than I, and I’m starting to think you know it. But unlike most physical hurt-bumps, this one will not go away with application of ice and a few ibuprofen. It’s a permanent parenting gifted kids hurt-bump. Thankfully it doesn’t hurt anymore, just gets tender from time to time. It’s a hurt-bump I didn’t expect to be given, but I wear it like a badge of honor.
Today’s post was part of the June Hoagies Gifted Blog Hop, on the mysteries and weird stuff of giftedness. Lots of writers with lots of perspectives, I recommend you take a few minutes and check them out!