where wildly different is perfectly normal
2011 we hardly knew ye
2011 we hardly knew ye

2011 we hardly knew ye

I really gotta quit writing end of year posts. Actually, I don’t need to write end of year posts; I can just keep reposting what I’ve written in previous years! No, really! I had this little ditty last year:

Welcome to the last day of 2010, that fickle bitch. I had a cutesy post last year about the horror of 2009 and how 2010 had to be better. It was followed the next day by another cutesy post about my hopes for the new year. Heh. Little did I know. If 2009 was a crappy year, 2010 was the toilet paper. Hopefully 2011 will be the hand-washing in this rapidly disintegrating analogy. In my 37 years on this rock I have never had a year like 2010 and please sweetbabyJesusonapony let me never have one like it again. You can lecture me all you like about attitude, but this was the year things just kept happening to me, at me, and around me. I’m exhausted.

Awww…wasn’t that cute!? Let’s continue that analogy, shall we? If 2009 was a crappy year, 2010 was the toilet paper, and 2011 was not the hoped-for hand-washing but when the neighborhood thugs pushed over the outhouse while I was still in it, set it on fire, hid all the extinguishers, and laughed maniacally as they skipped down the lane.

It was not a good year, is what I am saying. Let’s review the last twelve months.

  • We decided to move to Chicago to be closer to family and Tom’s work.
  • I was a single mom for three months while Tom lived with my parents and I attempted to sell the house.
  • It took four freaking months, over 40 showings, and a significant price drop to sell our house. We lost our goddamned shirts, pants, and multiple pairs of undies on that sale.
  • After the actual sale, we were essentially homeless for 10 days, not knowing when or if we were going to close on the house in Illinois. The number of SNAFUs in our move ranged from our CO realtor going in for emergency surgery the day of closing to the IL mortgage person having a severe case of cranial-rectal inversion as we drove across country.
  • Our incredible twice-exceptional son did not handle moving well. At.All.
  • I got to have The Sex Talk with him. While Tom was living in Chicago. He still owes me big.
  • I stopped exercising in March, thus eliminating all improvements from 2010.
  • The IL house is not what we expected, and shows us daily the amount of updating and improvements it requires.
  • After a six month search to find a school district that would be able (and willing) to accommodate A and his complexities, and four months of struggle with the district we did choose, we finally pulled him last week to homeschool.
  • This was after I found a flexible part-time paying job. It is now a former flexible part-time paying job.
  • The economy continued to pee in our coffee.
  • J had broken fingers, I had jury duty, we had a road trip to the Southwest, and basically it was a helluva year.
  • Now imagine at least a dozen other life-changing events or possible life-changing events that were never even mentioned here, and that was 2011.

So my expectations for 2012? Low, very very low. My current plan is to huddle under my desk and hope it doesn’t see me. None of the “Here’s to 2012! May it be better than 2011 was!” crap. More like “See ya 2011! Don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya! Oh, and 2012? Get your own damned beer and leave me alone.”

Maybe then 366 days from now things will be different. Oh please may it be different.


Whaddya think?

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