where wildly different is perfectly normal
{2e Tuesday} The Elusive Question
{2e Tuesday} The Elusive Question

{2e Tuesday} The Elusive Question

I’ve had a question for parents of gifted and twice-exceptional kids that I’ve asked for years.

What do you need?

Inevitably the answer is something along the lines of time, money, sanity, walk-in liquor closet. But I’m not sure I’m getting the answer I’m looking for because I’m not sure I’m asking the right question.

The elusive question, the elusive answer.

How do you put into words what your soul is screaming for? And I really do mean screaming. The only way to have this Q&A is using the guttural language of random full-throated syllables.

Q: Aaarrrghhghwerreohhhhhhhhheeeeeeeemwaaaaaahhhhhhh?!?!?!?!?!
A: Ohhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrggggggggmmmmmmoooooooogggaaaaaaahhhh!!!

Wookies have the right idea.

My soul tends to scream with disconcerting regularity. Doesn’t even have to have a question sent its way, it just bellows it out when it feels the need. Not in words, of course, but in syllables that do sound something like noooooobwwwaaaaaagggggaaaaaaaggggghhhhhhhaaaaarrrrgggggg!!! Occasionally it will burst forth from my lips, supported by my flute playing lungs, and I can only hope I’m alone. Feels good to get it out, though.

I suspect that’s what’s going on when I ask G2e parents what they need. Yes, we all desperately need time, money, sanity, and a walk-in liquor closet…but we truly need what our souls can only express through incoherent wails, so no wonder it’s nearly impossible to craft the question. Maybe I should be asking What would make you feel more like you? or How do you want to feel? or What do you need to satisfy those screams from your soul?

That elusive something that we G2e parents need…I hope soon we can put it into words and hunt down the answer. Until then, our souls will nonsensically wail together in a chorus of frustration.

This post is part of the May Hoagies Blog Hop, and is several days late because I couldn’t hear myself think over the screams of frustration in my head.


  1. Win Marsh

    I found that I needed to find my people. My tribe. Those who could relate to what I was going through. I didn’t even realize that it was a need in my life until I went to a social event for kids on the autism spectrum and got talking to the other parents. Suddenly, it left like I had just found a source for water after wandering in the desert. I hadn’t even realized that I had been so thirsty. So parched. So alone in my journey.

    Adding those social connections and beginning to physically meet on a regular basis was the answer that I had been looking for — without even knowing I was in need.

  2. Shirley

    Can’t imagine anyone has help for us. My son is almost 18 and we are late seeking and getting help. He worked really hard till he was about 14 and then just gave up. That’s when we got testing and he really does have big problems with math, ex. functioning and the basketfull with ADHD, crack baby (adopted at 22 months) and so on. Home schooled til 9th grade, gives up now even in his special ed classes. Doesn’t do the work if it is hard or challenging. BUT he is smart and a life guard since 15 1/2 yrs., holds a part time job. He was able to get his certificate because he took Jr. Lifeguard 4 times and they let him do some of the test orally).
    Last year, 11th grade, he was seriously ready to drop out several times. HE IS HIS OWN WORST ENEMY. Feels no future job for him because he can’t pass test. Is dreading his senior year of high school.
    Will NOT go to counseling-frankly don’t blame him, the ones we have tried have not been on board with his ADHD. The school offers no help with careers, I feel like he needs a real, hopeful goal but neither of us know where to start to find that.
    Welcome any suggestions.

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