The I DID IT badge for NaBloPoMo was finally released yesterday and I can now confess that I tortured myself for the badge here. Thirty days of
thoughtful, quality writing, self-flagellating mental vomit, penning something every night at 10 PM and praying I didn’t embarrass myself. All because I wanted a square of pixels to accompany the other two there on the left sidebar.
Why? Why do we (because I know I’m not alone in this) bully ourselves for the “prize?” The prize could be an award, a higher paycheck, the adulation of others, or a square of pixels that doesn’t physically exist. I played so many flute recitals in college and grad school not only because I needed a solid goal for which to practice, but also because I wanted the applause. At least I can admit that now. It’s awesome to work your ass off and get recognized for it, something that is inherently lacking in parenting. My awesome-o-meter is sad panda because of that.
So I shall now admire my trio of THEY DON’T REALLY EXIST IN REAL LIFE, JEN! NaBloPoMo badges and recall with
hysteria fondness how I achieved my goal, despite all hell breaking lose around me. I’ll do it again in 2012, hoping against hope that I prepare just a wee bit better than I did last month.