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Dec 15 2011

Pro/Con

Have you noticed how life is just one big Pro/Con list? It’s all in how you look at it…

Pro: When you own a 45 year old almond colored toilet you can’t tell when it needs to be scrubbed.
Con: When you own a 45 year old almond colored toilet you can’t tell when it needs to be scrubbed. (Um. Ew.)

Pro: Don’t need to shave my legs in the winter!
Con: It’s extra insulation when it’s 20 below!

Pro: Having no cable/satellite TV means you don’t have to sit through commercials and political bullshit.
Con: Having no cable/satellite TV means you’re at the mercy of the internet for streaming tasty, tasty eye candy Hawaii Five-0.

Pro: Having children enriches your life in immeasurable ways and ensures the continuation of your genes.
Con: Having children shows you in Technicolor detail the limits of your patience, how far you can be pushed before you start swearing like a drunk sailor at near your spawn, and causes you to wonder on an hourly basis just what the HELL you were thinking when you tossed the birth control lo those many years ago.

Pro: Starting a blog nearly six (!) years ago was one of the smartest things I’ve ever done. I have met incredible people and have generally had a ball writing what tends to be complete stream-of-consciousness drivel.
Con: I’ve been quietly censuring myself lately for a wide variety of reasons. This not only makes writing a sad chore, but pisses me off to no end.

Pro: Husband on a week-long business trip means I get to watch all kinds of crap through my laptop at night. And late into the night. With wine. And popcorn.
Con: OH MY HOLY HELL I’M HAVING FLASHBACKS TO LAST SPRING WHEN I WAS A SINGLE MOM FOR THREE MONTHS AND SINGLE MOMS ARE MY HEROES FOR LIFE!!!

Pro: Having precisely ONE door in the house with a lock means the boys can’t lock me out of their room and wreck mayhem.
Con: There is not a lot of privacy. For anythingif you get my meaning. Or just go read the damned link.

Pro: Moving means you can start over! Anything is possible! Make shit up! Go by your middle name! Carpe diem!
Con: I’ve been out at night exactly twice; once for bunco with a high school friend and last Saturday night for a meeting. I have no friends here; they all live in my computer. Women here meet for breakfast; I lived for FAC (that would be Friday Afternoon Cocktails, for the uninitiated. Friday after school someone hosts: kids play, moms drink wine and laugh, dads show up after work, we all eat appetizers and stuff and call it good). I’m lonely as hell. I’m also addicted to the semicolon.

Pro: The soft lighting in our house erases the age lines and grey streaks, courtesy of the young men and flatulent dog who live here.
Con: I am entirely convinced every owner in the past 45 years was a vampire. The lack of lighting is not kind to my aging, trifocal-reliant eyes.

Pro: I have a magnificent iPhone 4S that redefines suh-WEET!
Con: I have zero time to play with it and my ten year old son is teaching me how to use it. Crap. Now get off my lawn!

Pro: I’m thinking very seriously of hanging out my shingle and teaching flute lessons again.
Con: Given that it’s been 14 1/2 months since I’ve put flute to face, I might want to take it out for dinner and drinks. Get reacquainted. Massage therapists in the area sense a disturbance in the Force…and start planning elaborate vacations that I will finance.

Pro: I’m soft and cuddly, like a fluffy widdle teddy bear. Evwybody wuvs a teddy bear!
Con: I haven’t been to anything resembling a gym in almost a year. Heart attacks the world over are checking me out like a piece of meat at a butcher. The only thing changing faster than my dulling hair is my widely spreading caboose.

Pro: Today at work we had our Holiday Luncheon. There was wine.
Con: There is absolutely no con to this whatsoever.

Yes my friends, the world can be sorted by a pro/con list. It’s alllll in how you look at it.

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4 comments

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  1. My Kids Mom

    not shaving legs in winter- all pro
    wine at lunch and ensuing nap- all pro

    (and I believe the new term for “adult privacy” is “bunga bunga”)

  2. ChiTown Girl

    Aw, my friend, I’m sorry you’re feeling lonely these days. You know…I’m not that far away. I’ll be on Christmas break in a few short days. Just sayin’….

  3. Missy | Literal Mom

    Just think – the kids will be off soon to help combat the loneliness! (Sorry – couldn’t resist)

  4. Suzan

    Just thinking a virtual FAC might be in order. Surely there is a website or app for that!

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