Two years ago I wrote very forcefully why I was not going to allow Minecraft in my home.
One year ago I caved.
Shut up. There were reasons.
Yesterday Andy learned, while at our homeschool co-op with his geek friends, natch, that Microsoft was in negotiations to purchase Mojang (the company behind Minecraft) for roughly two billion dollars (please hear that in your best Dr. Evil voice, complete with pinky to your lip).
Today I’d like to say, on behalf of every parent of a Minecraft
addict devotee, “Mojang? What the absolute HELL? You dropped this on a weekend? When parents have to listen to the freakout for a solid seventy-two-effing-hours?”
My sons have been in full tilt Shit Losing Mode for over twenty-four hours now. Let’s listen in to a few of the more choice comments Tom and I have
endured overheard so far:
“I’m scared, I’m sad, I’m infuriated…It’s overwhelming.”
“Those power-hungry dickfaces!”
“Ok, it’s time to save Minecraft, I don’t care what anyone says, we’re gonna save Minecraft.”
Tom and I are about to shiv our own ears. To compensate, a few of the more choice comments the walls have overheard from us:
Me: I can’t drink enough to make this weekend tolerable!
Tom (without missing a beat): BUT WE’RE SURE GONNA TRY!
Tom: The children! Someone must think of the children!
Me: …and their long-suffering parents.
Tom: Join The Resistance! Go outside and get some fresh air!
Tom: We need a T-shirt, with a arm raised in resistance, holding a Minecraft sword, but it’s all done in blocks. Ooh! How about a Che Guevara shirt, but it’s the block dude’s head!
Two billion dollars for a computer game. A game with endless possibilities and educational promise, but a computer game nonetheless. I just want to tell the boys to lower the freakout DefCon level, go brush up on Ye Olde Programming Skillz, and develop something that someone will buy for a couple billion and change. Daddy and I tired, guys. We want the progressive nursing home with the gin and tonic IVs.
Truly though, the boys are despondent. Hysterical (in every definition of the word), but despondent. I haven’t seen Andy this worked up about something in a very, very long time. Wish I could see that kind of intensity over, say, history or reading or anything other than a computer game.
I don’t regret caving on Minecraft…much…but this weekend is making that decision a wee bit…crappier. And there’s a lot more whining to come over this Microsoft/Mojang purchase, I guarantee it.
Block the power. Go outside and play.