I found a self-adhesive plastic rhinestone stuck to my hip this morning as I was toweling off after my shower. I have no idea how it could have gotten there, or even what it’s from. In a home with two tween/teen sons, a notable lack of sparklies, and a personal style of distinctly low-maintenance clothing, I can come to only one conclusion:
I am freaking bling-tastic and am now spawning proof of that from my right hip. If the size of my hips are any indication, there is a metric crapton of bling in there waiting to be released upon the world, so beware and be prepared. I also suspect the impending release of my bling awesomeness may account for my continuing exhaustion; takes a lot of energy to produce quality bling, yo. Yesterday’s deep tissue massage must have simply pushed it to the surface to pop out at its earliest convenience. I expect my unicorn mount and army of minions to appear any moment now.
And with that, a nap is in order. I think I feel an emerald forming near my left buttock and must rest for it to appear.