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Living with a teenage troll, the sequel
Living with a teenage troll, the sequel

Living with a teenage troll, the sequel

Living with a teenage troll, the sequelGive me strength. I mean, for chrissakes, it was my birthday. And, on the 42nd anniversary of my entrance onto this planet, I spent a huge amount of time in the car, driving Andy to and from a birthday party a million miles away. And how does my beloved firstborn son thank his long-suffering mother, on her birthday no less?

By leaving me “presents” on my iPhone. Unfortunately he knows the login code (which will be changed shortly), because sometimes I need him to log in for me for traffic updates while I’m driving (modeling safety, folks!). The little shit dear child kept giggling and sniggering and flat-out laughing while I was driving mumble mumble miles per hour on the expressway and I couldn’t see what he was doing. He would only tell me that he was leaving me “presents.” After his last set of gifts, I trust him about as far as I can throw him, and as he is getting heavier and heavier…there ya go.

I checked my phone over when I got home. Couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary.

And then I went to comment on a post on Facebook and proceeded to give thanks to every deity here there and everywhere that I give the once over to everything I ever text, email, or post.

The little shit teenaged troll went on a tear with my iPhone’s text replacements. Care to appreciate his handiwork?

An corrected to asscheese
Andy corrected to assnugget
J corrected to WiiU
Jen corrected to Me
No corrected to penis
Tom corrected to 1234567890
Yes corrected to goatsimulator

I discovered this as I was finishing dinner, read them aloud, and Tom is still recovering from the coughing fit from asscheese; never good to inhale a fine piece of tuna into your sinuses.

So. Yeah. He done got me but good. I suspect this won’t be the last time he trolls me, and I’m glad he knows I know it’s all in good fun…to a point. I could yell at him and punish him and make a big deal about it, but it’s really not a big deal. Even the language he used isn’t that big a deal to me; god knows he’s heard worse from my own lips. I’d rather save the big deal reactions for the really big deal issues. This isn’t one of those issues.

Besides, assnugget is a great name for him. Now where is his iPhone? Because I need to teach Siri his new name. Heh…


  1. Madelaine

    Oh that’s hilarious!!! Happy birthday and welcome to the wonderful age of the answer to life, the universe and everything (speaking as a fellow 42-er). My 9 yr old troll routinely changes the language on my phone, tv, whatever device has a language setting he likes to change it. He changes my name on my phone to Frankenstein, Voldemort, McGonagall, Dumbledore etc, which has caused some confusion around and about. I’ve taught 12 yr old trolls of the same ilk who change the autocorrect on word on every one of 8 classroom computers: ‘the’ to ‘[name] is the most awesomest dude ever. Things like that. Gotta love it. And hate it.
    Wonderful stuff!!!

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