where wildly different is perfectly normal
Me Mudder
Me Mudder

Me Mudder

When me prayers were poorly said
Who tucked me in me widdle bed
And spanked me till me arse was wed
Me Mudder

Who took me from me cozy cot
And put me on the ice cold pot
And made me pee if I could not
Me Mudder

And when the morning light would come
And in me crib me dribbled some
Who wiped me tiny widdle bum
Me Mudder

Who would me hair so neatly part
And hug me gently to her heart
Who sometimes squeezed me till me fart
Me Mudder

Who looked at me with eyebrows knit
And nearly have a king size fit
When in me Sunday pants me shit
Me Mudder

When at night her bed did squeak
Me raised me head to have a peak
Who yelled at me to go to sleep
Me Farver!

Yup, everything I learned about mommying I learned from Me Mudder. My mom is a wonderful woman and I am so lucky to be her little girl.

She is my best friend, someone I tease, the woman who taught me all the words to “Do Your Boobs Hang Low” and “I’m Looking Over My Dead Dog Rover”.

She was the mom to my friends in high school and also through college. Everyone was always welcome at our house. Many of my and my brother’s friends still call her Mom.

She knew before I did that Tom was the man for me. Somehow, she just knew.

Mom would take the train for 2 hours to see me perform in an afternoon recital in college, stay the night, then take the train back. It meant so much to me that she’d do that. Now, she comes out to Colorado to see us and the boys when she can, just because. And because sometimes a mommy needs her mommy.

She taught me the world’s best recipe for spaghetti sauce (don’t ask, I ain’t sharin’! LOL), and that champagne doesn’t need a special occasion.

She tried to teach me to sew, but that’s a character flaw on my part. LOL Same goes with trying to teach me to drive stick shift.

Most of all, she taught me to love. Taught me that with every moment of every day.

She allowed me to learn from my mistakes, and to use my own brain to figure stuff out.

I’m still her little girl and I’m still welcome in her lap, though it takes an engineer to figure out how to get that to work. See, I’m 5’11’ and she’s 5’6″. Poor woman lives her days getting hugged into armpits. Mom actually has a “hugging step-stool” that she uses so she doesn’t get smothered when she hugs us. Dad is 6’2″ and my brother is 6’4″ and his wife is 6’2″.

We tease her for being tiny, for her little ears, for her little mouth. And she gives back love upon love. I love being around her. Just going shopping, or hanging out, or whatever.

I think she was destined to be a grandma, she’s so good at it. The boys adore her. She sends a video email and you’d think it was Christmas morning. She loves on them and they love on her.

She has always welcomed Tom into her home as her son, not her son-in-law. She loves him and I love that.

It’s because of her that I made the decision at age 17 that I was going to be a stay at home mom. Most of the time, I agree with that decision. LOL Other times, I wonder what I was thinking and how fast can she get here?

My mom is a wonderful woman and I wish every day that we lived closer to each other.

Thanks, mom, for everything. I love you. Happy Belated Mother’s Day.

Whaddya think?

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