where wildly different is perfectly normal
Meeting my needs
Meeting my needs

Meeting my needs

When optional things get too difficult to do, even if I want to do them, I want to bail. I figure I have enough craziness in other parts of my life for something fun and interesting and for me to deal with XYZ to actually do them. Yeah, I know, I’m a mess.

So for me to head into downtown Chicago this morning for me was a big deal. I had to get the boys to my parents’ (Tom was still out of town; now he’s home and will be ordered to massage yesterday’s three hours of shoveling out of my back) and get my sorry self south before 10 am. I thought I had given myself enough “get horribly lost” time to get there. Riiiight…only because I grew up here and could at least hazard a reasonable guess as to where I was going was I able to find my destination. I came dangerously close to saying the hell with it and heading back home for a quiet day with the dog.

So glad I didn’t.

This morning I met five other moms of gifted kids for a meetup of the Chicago Gifted Children meetup. The topic? “Having a life as the parent of a high-needs child.” Hm. A topic near and dear to my heart. Not just because I am one, but because I hear so often here from others who are parents of high-needs kids and I desperately want to help them.

We finally stopped talking six hours (!) later, when the host’s family returned and we all realized how late it had become. Fastest six hours of my life and I swear it’s like we needed a group hug at the end. We covered everything, EVERYTHING, and it was like a calm rain after a drought. To talk to others who get it is just so soothing. And I found myself in a very new and different role.

I had the oldest kid in the room and could honestly say in some ways it gets better. A’s sensory issues are so much more manageable than they were a few years ago. His overwhelmed meltdowns are further apart. Anxiety has dropped (helped that we took school out of the equation). Nearly every thing we talked about I had experienced, and nearly every one was better than it was a few years ago. It was so strange for me to say it will get better and really know it to be true. Things sure aren’t perfect in the House of Chaos, but compared to a few years ago and even The Autumn of Hell 2011 edition, they’re so much better.

If you’re in the Chicago area, search out the group and join. If you’re not, I highly recommend finding a Meetup group like this or starting your own. Just being with others who get it is a relief. Having them as friends, as resources, is just so…nice.

Now kindly excuse me. My husband owes me a serious massage. The snow? Melted. Of course.


  1. Allison

    (catching up on my reading now that I some some enforced time off!) I am sooooo happy and grateful for you to have found a group of like-minded, like-experienced people there! While I have no personal experience with what you live everyday with your son, from what I can tell from your postings, I imagine having a group of actual, tangible people to share with — not to discount long-distance, virtual support groups — but sometimes it’s nice to talk face-to-face and get a hug, too.
    And here’s a long-distance, virtual hug of support, too!

Whaddya think?

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