Oct 19 2009

Pop goes the story

Denise asked if I was going to go easier on the authorities  in the freaky Balloon Boy case, now that it just keeps getting weirder and weirder. Yes, yes I am. My apologies to the authorities after my last rant. But now, I have more to say.

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Heene,

On the scale of frakked up parenting moments, this goes all the way up to 11. You don’t have the brains God gave the humble turnip. You thought this little scheme would work? Really? You apparently forgot the cardinal rule of parenting: kids can’t keep secrets. I haven’t been surprised by a birthday or Christmas gift in years, and you somehow thought a six year old boy would keep this under wraps? I’d ask what you were smoking, but I’m afraid you’d think I was serious and offer me some.

Dear Larimer County Sheriff,

I’ve been watching you on the news. Love the attitude. Love that you’re not taking any shit from the media. Go nuts. Investigate the hell outta this family. Move those kids to a more appropriate home; from the sound of things, the dad is a wee bit unstable. There have been previous investigations into domestic violence, and young boys don’t need that as an influence.

Dear media,

Talk to the sheriff. Ignore this wackadoo family. Please.

Love and kisses,



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  1. cms8741

    😉 love it.


    Nicely put, Jen. I didn’t want to comment on the last one for fear of the wrath of Jen in my differing opinion. BUT, I didn’t evenhear of Balloon Boy until well after the initial hype and more of the story was unfolding – like Saturday night or Sunday. Cuz, they don’t interrupt Nickelodeon and HGTV with late breaking news. My news I get in snippets between songs on the radio.



    And you are right. The media attention – FILLING this father for exactly what he wants. Maybe not the way he intended it, but STILL exactly feeding his instability. Not helping.


  4. Tendrils

    awesome post and I absolutely LOVE your new design!!! Beautious!

  5. CorrieHowe

    Thanks for sharing these “open letters.” I think they were great. Especially like the point about forgetting the cardinal rule of parenting, kids can’t keep secrets.

  6. cms8741


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