where wildly different is perfectly normal


Shoulda seen this coming. Shoulda known. You’d think I’d know better. ‘Cause here.it.comes.

For years I’ve said I didn’t know what I wanted to discuss with A less: 9/11, Santa, or sex. We covered 9/11 with him last September pretty well, probably because we made damned sure he saw zero images. None. Partly because he’s such a visual kid that they would have haunted him more than most, and partly because a few weeks later we were getting on a plane. He still believes in Santa to the point that we may need to gently sit him down next winter as to avoid some serious wedgie action at his new school. If we end up in the district we hope, he’ll be in middle school next fall (holy crap, that just now hit me).

See where this is going?

Tom and I made a pact some years ago, when we realized just how precocious A was. I’d teach him to drive, Tom would teach him the ins and outs (pun certainly intended) of sex.

See where this is going?

My beloved husband is currently in Chicago, living with my parents, and looking for a house. I am here solo (and don’t bother hunting me down; I have an alarm system, observant neighbors, and a moat filled with rabid platypuses) holding down the fort until it sells.

You totally see where this is going, don’t you?

Tonight, after his shower, A was leaning over my shoulder as I played Words with Friends on my iPhone. “Mom! See those letters!? S-E-X! That spells SEX. I think that’s funny.”

Ohhhhhhh fuuuuuuuuudge……only I didn’t think fudge.

“You think sex is funny? No kiddin’. Where’d ya learn that?”

“Mumble mumble mumble.”

I know my child well enough, and know too well how bright he is, to know that he’s hearing things and learning something, and wants to talk about it and my husband is a thousand freaking miles away. My asynchronous, emotionally immature (a lot of the time), highly gifted child…well, looks like his emotional and social ages are catching up to the rest of him. I guess I shouldn’t be so surprised; he is going to be 10 next month.

Of course The Talk is going to happen and happen now. And I’m ok with it. Mostly. I just didn’t want to do it, as I do so much of the educating/placating/advocating here AND because I don’t have the parts in question. Oh, and because our conversation will very likely end up like this (and worth every minute):


  1. That video almost killed me!

    I just got a new book for the 10-14 year old set. And my newly 7 yo has been reading it. I sprinkled all the sex ed books around Friday eve, hoping some reading would be done Saturday morning before I woke up. The almost 10 yo isn’t going to open up and ask questions on his own, so I think I’m going to have to pull them at the same time and let Inquisitive One ask the questions his big brother needs to know. I’m a bit uncomfortable with the level of info he’s getting into- he had books at his own age level already- but we’ll do what we have to do. My husband doesn’t seem to be jumping up to do this.

    I’ve kept books around and sort-of discussed this before. I’ve tried to keep it an open topic at least. My mom’s theory was to teach EVERYTHING before they’re ten b/c they’ll quit asking at that age. She seems to have been right.

    Share with us how it goes. Good luck.

  2. Short on time today. Much chaos in Northern IL this week, but we just had this about with our son over Thanksgiving break. I HIGHLY recommend a book called “where did I come from?”. Very good. Very descriptive in a way they get.

    I’ll email later but we had the same OMG!!! moments and it all has worked out okay – so far.

  3. Benoit

    Why are you so not at ease with that topic ?
    I answered the questions of my older son when they came. He was maybe 7 and his little brother, 4, heard the explanations…maybe I won’t get the questions a second time LOL !

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