where wildly different is perfectly normal
The times, they are a’changin’
The times, they are a’changin’

The times, they are a’changin’

I have always been very tall and fairly thin. Not scary-thin, but “can wear a sexy dress and get away with it…barely” thin. Tall…well, I am 5’11” now and I was this height in 8th grade. Hard to miss me in a crowd then. Or now, for that matter.

My weight control as a youngster was, “why”? In high school and college, “I’ll stress it off”. Did a good job of that. Oh, and the miles I walked and marching band in college. That might have had something to do with it.

Weight control as a newlywed was, “haven’t had to worry before, why start now?” As a new mom, “it’ll come off…eventually.” As a mom of two, “chasing the boys will get it off.”

Then came last February and the sinus infection that wasn’t. A month-long regimen of steroids to get rid of a sinus infection that didn’t exist. I gained 20 pounds in a month. A short month at that. Weight control then, “oh screw it, I give up.”

Which leads me to today. I toddle onto George the Wonder Scale and see some baaaad things. Weight: “one hundred and holy crap, what does that say?” Body fat percentage: “Sweet Lord, you can’t buy ice cream with that sort of fat content!” Seriously, if the scale could talk, it would be moaning in pain, and mocking me as a human being. Something about not knowing that sperm whales had feet and lived in the suburbs. I’m at my highest non-pregnant weight. People who know me in real life think I’m thin, look thin, look great. Uh-huh. I’m nearly 6 feet tall, people! I hide weight very well, even starkers. And the only person on this earth who gets to see me as nature intended sure as hell ain’t gonna comment on the weight gain if he knows what’s good for him!

Apparently my current plan of “eat whatever, move enough to haul your sorry ass around, and hope you look like a 20 year old swimsuit model” isn’t working. I’m getting help. Doing it on my own isn’t working. Trying to hit the treadmill here isn’t working; haven’t been on it since September. Despite the non-stop winter we seem to be having, summer will eventually reappear, and I’m not much for that cottage cheese look in the summer. So, God help me, I’m looking into Weight Watchers, and will get a punch card for a neighboring town’s rec center. Sigh…one more thing to squeeze into my day, but exercise…well, it needs to be done. And I’ll like it. Or else.

Whaddya think?

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