where wildly different is perfectly normal


I joined Weight Watchers nearly 3 months ago and in that time I have lost the same 2 pounds a couple of times, at least. I’m doing better with my eating, I’m exercising (though not as much as I should), and still the same 2 pounds. My metabolism is even more screwed up than I thought (and it’s a really good thing my dr. appt. is next week, ’cause I’m seriously pooped again. I knew I shouldn’t have written about how good I felt).

Because I seem to have difficulty actually following through on weight loss, I’m going to join the Look Great in 2008 challenge. Because of my height I hide my weight well, but I feel like this:

And I want to look like this:

(That is Katee Sackhoff from Battlestar Galactica)

I don’t know how I’m going to keep up with this weight-loss challenge when I can barely keep my head above water right now. My biggest challenge is exercise. I’m either too busy (no, seriously), or the entire time I’m exercising I’m driving myself nuts thinking about the eleventy billion other things I should be doing. Things like paying bills, catching up on work paperwork, playing with my sons, running errands, you name it. It’s almost as though I’m not selfish enough to take care of myself. Wait…I’m not selfish enough to take care of myself. It’s the same reason why I essentially gave up anything resembling a flute performance career: I’m not selfish enough to put myself and my flute practicing/playing first. And that, my friends, is why I am a squishy former flutist. Sad state of affairs.

So my goal is 30 pounds. Those who know me in real life may think I’m insane, but I really do have that much to lose; my height hides a multitude of sins. But I’m tired of being what I never wanted to be: a middle aged (ay yi yi my birthday is on Sunday), overweight, stay at home mom. That’s not cool by me. I may age, I may be a stay at home mom, but there’s NO reason for me to be heavy and squishy. It’s over.

Whaddya think?

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