So it’s that time of year again. I’m looking down the road called “calendar” and seeing a Big.Red.Brick.Wall. ahead. On that wall is a sign, written in the tears of angels, that reads:

Summer Vacation

And I start to hyperventilate.

Last summer I made a solemn vow. I may or may not have taken the vow sober, I do not recall. I may or may not have taken the vow stark naked, inside a circle of lit candles, to the manic drumbeat of wild men in loincloths. I may or may not have taken the vow with an animal sacrifice as an exclamation point on the evening. I vowed that I would send my sons to many camps this summer, come hell or high water, because summer 2008 almost put me in the nuthouse.  Summer 2008 was the year I thought “oh…they don’t need that much camp! We’ll be fine! We’ll do fun stuff! We’ll have a great time! We’ll save some coin in the process!”

My hands shook all summer from restraining from wringing little boy necks.

I vowed that Summer 2009 would be The Year of Summer Camp Without Guilt.

Then yesterday I watched the economy reach up, rip off its own head, and shove it so far up its own ass that it popped back out the top exclaiming, “Thank you, sir! May I have another!?”

Yes, there is money set aside for camps this summer. Not enough. A wants to go to Lego Robotics camp, which last I checked, doesn’t come with a year of college for the price. He’s already signed up for Camp Invention (the greatest thing on the planet for him; if I could send him every single week for the summer he’d be in heaven) and church camp (it’s cheap and all day). I have nothing for J, save the aforementioned church camp.

My dilemma is that there are few camps available for a 4/almost 5 year old at the same time as the older kid. And I will go crazier quicker if I have just J home while A is off having fun. So I must get both of them out of the house at the same time this summer. The only one I’ve been able to find so far is at the YMCA, which also does not offer college tuition for the price.

The secondary dilemma is holy crap the sky is freaking falling and we’re all going to relive the Great Depression and is that a dust storm coming and I don’t know how to sew clothes from flour sacks and my jalopy is in the shop so we can’t head west and hope for the best aaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

Ahem.

I digress.

What price sanity? Both boys are at school today, so I’m centered and focused and getting stuff done and will have a good day. Tomorrow J will be home with me. There will none of that tomorrow. Tomorrow I’ll be out of sorts and distracted and will be popping open a bottle of wine at 5:01. So what price sanity?

We have some things already planned for the summer. A long-planned and paid-for Disney World trip. Inexpensive home improvements (put off the big ones for another year). Little things. But not nearly enough.

Oh, and did I mention that A will be getting out of school a full week early this year? No? Must have slipped my mind after I learned this, blacked out, and gave myself a concussion on the drums from last summer’s vow ceremony. The school is adding on four new classrooms, and if they’re to be done by the start of school next fall, they have to start early. Whimper…

So I have three months and five days to fill. Yes, counting. You would too.

What price sanity?

Poop.