Oh Staycation, how I love thee. I love thee like an empty bladder and full tank of gas, like exhaustedly snoring children and a snappy Malbec, like a clean house and a clear calendar. I see you far too infrequently, but I’ve enjoyed the hell out of you this week.
Tom has had the whole week off, and we have done a shocking amount of nothing. If there was an Olympic event of We Are Going To Do Absofuckinglutely Nada, I guarantee we’d be hoisting flowers and waving from the top podium as tears of joy silently slid down our cheeks. This has been the calmest and quietest Christmas we’ve ever had, which I find outrageously funny given the chaos that is circling around us outside this protective holiday cocoon. All hell will break loose again on Monday, but right now? My guys are downstairs watching the very first Simpsons episode while I write, and a quick glance at my daily to-do list AND my coming-up-next-to-do list tells me it’s almost empty. Let me repeat: my to-do list is almost empty. I’m slightly twitchy and worried that I might get…gasp!…bored.
So I am taking full advantage of this quiet and calm eye of the storm. In mere moments I will continue my quest to hold the couch to the floor every day of this Staycation, and at an appropriate hour (5 pm minus it’s a holiday minus it’s Friday minus none of us need to go anywhere tonight OR tomorrow morning equals moments after I post this) I will pour a generous beverage and toast the evening. I haven’t been out of the house in two days, may attempt to stretch that to three, which might be a non-flu record.
Lust, gluttony, sloth….the greatest of these is sloth. Ahhhhh…..