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And the greatest of these is sloth

and the greatest of these is slothOh Staycation, how I love thee. I love thee like an empty bladder and full tank of gas, like exhaustedly snoring children and a snappy Malbec, like a clean house and a clear calendar. I see you far too infrequently, but I’ve enjoyed the hell out of you this week.

Tom has had the whole week off, and we have done a shocking amount of nothing. If there was an Olympic event of We Are Going To Do Absofuckinglutely Nada, I guarantee we’d be hoisting flowers and waving from the top podium as tears of joy silently slid down our cheeks. This has been the calmest and quietest Christmas we’ve ever had, which I find outrageously funny given the chaos that is circling around us outside this protective holiday cocoon. All hell will break loose again on Monday, but right now? My guys are downstairs watching the very first Simpsons episode while I write, and a quick glance at my daily to-do list AND my coming-up-next-to-do list tells me it’s almost empty. Let me repeat: my to-do list is almost empty. I’m slightly twitchy and worried that I might get…gasp!…bored.

So I am taking full advantage of this quiet and calm eye of the storm. In mere moments I will continue my quest to hold the couch to the floor every day of this Staycation, and at an appropriate hour (5 pm minus it’s a holiday minus it’s Friday minus none of us need to go anywhere tonight OR tomorrow morning equals moments after I post this) I will pour a generous beverage and toast the evening. I haven’t been out of the house in two days, may attempt to stretch that to three, which might be a non-flu record.

Lust, gluttony, sloth….the greatest of these is sloth. Ahhhhh…..

Whatcha think?

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Published inEveryday Life

11 Comments

  1. Congrats on the Olympic sloth medal!

    We’ve roused ourselves enough to find “The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything” on YouTube and did go to my mom’s for a couple hours on Christmas but have otherwise had a similar schedule and the best Christmas ever. We finally found the secret! Stop trying to do something and just enjoy the moment, enjoy being a family (which is what I’ve been telling other people we’re doing because it sounds better).

    • Jen Jen

      We even hosted Christmas for my family yesterday and still managed excessively high levels of sloth. I can’t decide if we just finally gave up on everything, or if we’re so slammed the rest of the time that when we make ourselves take a break typical BIG things are no big deal.
      Why am I still on the computer? I hear the couch whimpering for me… 😉

  2. Terri Tyson Terri Tyson

    I’m right there with you. It is my solemn duty to hold the wine glass up and the recliner down. Boy has been staying at grandmas. Life for this moment is awesome. Zzzzzzzzz…

    • Jen Jen

      Remember this delightful feeling in February. 😉 Ok, that’s a reminder for me too.

  3. Nicole Nicole

    Oh my Jen how I love your sense of humor! It’s right up my alley!

    • Jen Jen

      Hee! See? My sense of humor returns when I’m not pressed and stressed! (note to self…chill out and be funny)

  4. I shall toast you with my generous glass this evening. While my to do list isn’t empty (jealous!), we’ve done a whole lotta nothing. Board games, books, and movies. It feels so freaking good!

    • Jen Jen

      I haven’t left the house since Christmas Eve. Bliss.

      • I left on Christmas, but that was it 🙂

  5. I’m right there with ya, Sister! But, then again, that’s generally been our tradition around here. The week between Christmas and New Year’s usually finds us on the couch/bed, in our jammies, doing NOTHING. The only reason we move is generally to eat or go to the bathroom.

    Psst…don’t tell anyone, but my morning coffee may or may not have had a couple of very generous shots of Rumchata in it….mmmmm…

    Happy Holiday! Glad to hear you are enjoying the hell out of yours!!

    xoxox

    • Jen Jen

      This is the first Christmas in a VERY long time that we haven’t traveled somewhere to see someone at some point. And I’d be putting Bailey’s into my coffee, but I had to give up coffee again. 🙁 Yay tea! Just can’t spike it, though… 🙁

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© Laughing at Chaos 2020 ~~I would be most displeased if you were to adopt my brain spewings as your own without proper attribution and/or cash payment. Just sayin'.
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