NEWS ALERT: Scientists have discovered the Shopping Gene! It’s at the very bottom of the DNA strand, hidden behind the Party Planning Gene and directly adjacent to the Holiday Preparations Gene, in an area now known as the Give A Damn clump. They’ve determined that it is rarely detected in men (but when found in the male genome, it is well developed), and is overdeveloped in the genome of women of a certain age and/or women of a certain financial demographic. Unlike Party Planning and Holiday Preparations, the Shopping Gene in the Give A Damn clump does not disappear entirely; scientists hypothesize that humans can suck it up and go without parties and holiday cheer, but damned if they’re going to strut down the street starkers.
In related news, I had to go shopping for concert black for next week’s concert; I barely survived with my sanity intact. God help me, I still need to find shoes.