I’ve determined that, for me, balance is deciding which plates to let drop so the others can keep spinning. Not…have fewer plates or allow them all to spin a few rotations slower, but allow one at a time to shatter so I can run around spinning the others…then haul out the vacuum to clean up the pieces. Sound exhausting? It is. Perhaps I should work on that.
Several plates wobbled and fell this week, and I just allowed it to happen for my own sanity. Tom was gone most of the week again and I.was.done. Instead of running around spinning plates for the sake of spinning plates, I consciously took some off and packed them away, and watched as several others fell and shattered. The vacuum and super glue will be out in full force this week. With luck I won’t glue my fingers together. Tough to type like that.
So what have I been doing instead?
I’ve been reading about giftedness again, twice-exceptionalities, and visual-spatial learners. Courtesy of Amazon, I have a stack of books to read and notate. The ball is rolling for A, and J’s ball is at the top of the hill, with my foot poised behind it. (I had a bit of a AGH!!! moment this week when I found out that our district is now offering early enrollment to kindergarten or 1st grade for highly qualified kids. A would have been perfect for this program, and J isn’t quite there. Damn.) I’ve also been searching for help concerning 2e kids. This has taken up most of my week. And my brain.
I’ve been yelling at my stupid modem and cursing the internets. My modem will just go out, for no reason and with no warning. It’s out right now as I compose this on Word. This has been happening for months; I’ve replaced the router, so that’s not it, it’s the modem. So this means I get to call Earthlink tomorrow and hope to hell I can understand tech support. I just need a modem that works. Yes, I’ve unplugged and jostled and jiggled and lit a candle and said a prayer and offered up sacrifices…can you just tell me if you’re going to send me a new modem or should I just run down to the electronics store and get one and be back up and running in thirty minutes? Because I’m tired of this crap.
I’ve been cooking. A lot. After temperatures in the low 70s mid-week, Friday the temps dropped 30 degrees and they keep dropping. It’s cold and snowing right now, and so I cook. I made my famous spaghetti sauce (double batch, of course) yesterday; today I have a double batch of the best chili in the world on the stove. A good friend of mine is pregnant. She has a boy A’s age with Asperger’s, a five year old daughter with SPD…and is pregnant with twin boys. The mere thought makes the little hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention in fear, but she’s thrilled. I figured she’s going to have her hands full, so I made her a bunch of gluten-free freezer meals this weekend too.
I’ve been ignoring my feed reader, my emails (if you’re waiting for an email from me, it’s coming, I promise), and the tv. Oh, and the blogs I write for. I started several different posts in my head, including one as a response to something political my brother in law wrote on his Facebook page (because I know I was the “some people” described)…but then plates slipped and fell and, well, there ya go.
Yesterday I finally sorted and organized all my digital photos. Took me most of the day, but they are finally done. I can now actually find the photos I’m looking for. Today I backed them up on DVDs so I don’t have to panic about losing them. This week I’ll start uploading them to Shutterfly so I can get, you know, real pictures in my hands. Getting this done lifted such a burden from my shoulders. After awhile, projects that keep getting pushed back again and again become a weighty burden and you don’t realize it until you feel so much lighter.
I got all my recipes into one binder and now can find them. That oughta make meal planning easier, ya think? And that’s another project that’s been dogging me for months. Feels so good to have that one done.
I’ve been cleaning my house. Wow. Will wonders never cease? Even got all the laundry done today.
I’ve been pondering the economy, calmly…with a tinge of panic. And wondering how families survived the Great Depression. I want to find some books and resources on that topic. Are we in, or heading towards, another Depression? I have no idea, I’m not an economist. But something…well, my spidey senses are tingling and I want to be ready.
I’ve been doing the mental bellyaching that accompanies not taking care of yourself. The plate labeled “exercise” has long since shattered; in fact, it’s shattered so often and so hard it’s really not much more than ceramic dust at this point. My body hurts, and it’s only my fault. But, when you’re so focused on keeping plates spinning, that feels like exercise when it’s really only mental cacophony.
I’ve been practicing the violin with J. Someone tell me…WTF was I thinking? He enjoys it, but it’s a fight. He has great hand position (and I’m not saying this because I’m the mom, I’m saying it as a music teacher), but it’s a fight. He can get a decent sound when he tries, but it’s a fight. He’s only four…so get a grip, mom.
Things will be better this week. The plates that fell will be swept up and repaired, others will wobble and threaten to fall. But at least I’ll have clean clothes, a freezer full of food, and my husband around as I dash around spinning those plates. In the meantime, I’ve been laughing at this, and wondering just what will be different and amazing 28 years from now.